tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32918708691131505122024-03-21T12:13:21.862-07:00A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the ApocalypseWho says the End of the World isn't fun? Not us!A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-88724322759977792352011-07-25T15:42:00.000-07:002011-07-25T15:42:16.367-07:00Large Hadron Collider Update: Just Come Out and Say it Already - Miss Conquest<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitnKpf8gcb53JY2StSI1Hhp30vitoXqfrMfA7gclpq3aZ7COASLsSknmiGJBwZbhb5zBoPmSkSNkXX7OjpzaVpGj2L2CBTqiNf-Kz81aCJESQWqxroj6VtHkognHd4sQmj84HsCC_UiOpE/s1600/lhc-580x377.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitnKpf8gcb53JY2StSI1Hhp30vitoXqfrMfA7gclpq3aZ7COASLsSknmiGJBwZbhb5zBoPmSkSNkXX7OjpzaVpGj2L2CBTqiNf-Kz81aCJESQWqxroj6VtHkognHd4sQmj84HsCC_UiOpE/s320/lhc-580x377.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The mysteriously mad scientists over there working on the Large Hadron Collider have disclosed that they expect to know whether or not the illusive "God Particle" exists by the <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/large-hadron-collider/8660551/Existence-of-God-particle-to-be-decided-by-next-year.html">end of next year.</a> <br />
<br />
Now, I may not know what the hell a "God Particle" is, but I can certainly decode what "the end of next year" means. What you really meant to say there Mr. Mad Scientist was: "We will most likely end the world in DECEMBER 2012."<br />
<br />
If you're not familiar with this Dr. Evil-style-Insta-Blackhole-Death-Ray they've got going on under the border of France and Switzerland, well neither am I. Every time someone tries to explain that it's "the worlds largest and highest-energy particle accelerator" my eyes glaze over and I start imagining Dr. Sam Beckett jumping into the Quantum Leap Accelerator -- and vanishing. He awakes to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that are not his own...<br />
<br />
Fine. But I'm not that far off base. From my understanding, answering the age-old time travel and multiple dimensions questions were just some of the goals for building this doomsday device. But so far, that seems to be a <a href="http://www.gadling.com/2011/07/25/sorry-trekkies-science-proves-time-travel-and-warp-drive-not-po/">no-go</a>. (Duh. Everyone knows that to time travel you need a DeLorean. Psh.)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgsWIucMQTNL_2Xi2dELIcrvG9yPQcXyLRzk_SQVUiY_JHKoNDioEjd6jv1eUQMkgvcKZVQzaIdva1_VjCf2fe0Q2CW-64aoWtDLG3KnpzOAG0buFRJLxzW6lAI_1pVhAYXKjKNFuL0ANs/s1600/back-to-the-future.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgsWIucMQTNL_2Xi2dELIcrvG9yPQcXyLRzk_SQVUiY_JHKoNDioEjd6jv1eUQMkgvcKZVQzaIdva1_VjCf2fe0Q2CW-64aoWtDLG3KnpzOAG0buFRJLxzW6lAI_1pVhAYXKjKNFuL0ANs/s200/back-to-the-future.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">What you DON"T need are roads.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Anyhow... the important thing to note here is not what they want to do with this Collider, but what they might <i>accidentally</i> do with it. Like create a black hole and NEGATE OUR EXISTENCE.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1Zwe5IFV0MdnQGdgOptrbCbLhmEbqSFi3HydOgDfXNCDkJA0N4ntDdBmAqpOgJgookU-G3y-F_CK-9IFEaqsVZHIhhCg9cE0toqK40PkPK2WirvRJc3SBSvSzgFATXioTyTzgyCs3Cyn/s1600/exploding-earth11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1Zwe5IFV0MdnQGdgOptrbCbLhmEbqSFi3HydOgDfXNCDkJA0N4ntDdBmAqpOgJgookU-G3y-F_CK-9IFEaqsVZHIhhCg9cE0toqK40PkPK2WirvRJc3SBSvSzgFATXioTyTzgyCs3Cyn/s200/exploding-earth11.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Oops.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>And there have been so many setbacks with the damn thing that even the Mad Scientists behind it believe that their future selves are trying to <a href="http://www.news.com.au/technology/large-hadron-collider-is-being-sabotaged-from-the-future/story-e6frfro0-1225788270808">sabotage</a> them in an attempt to stop them from destroying the world (even though time travel isn't...never mind).<br />
<br />
And NOW they're planning on completing a hefty part of their mission by THE END OF NEXT YEAR. Have we learned <i>nothing</i> from Lord Voldemort, Mad Scientists? You don't fuck with self-fulfiling prophecies! It never turns out well for you! And in this case, for ANY of us living on this planet! So maybe you wanna push your schedule back a bit. What's the rush? There's nothing wrong with say... April 2014? I hear Switzerland is lovely in the springtime.<br />
<br />
Seriously. If a bunch of Mad Scientists negate existence with the flick of a switch, I know some people who are going to be piiiisssssssed off that they've put so much time and energy into War and Global Warming.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0hkqftpdKnUzu6YYITAtutSK-PN8iUrV7y5OHNPTbRhl_8rueYQzYiSbkMtJyYqeSSe2ekCeJ_FKZ0omRg55_im8J1D9z8pfNqwLXZg0F8y19AmeF9YUpGeg7_qTuLMFKH9Vz1F1RtkfU/s1600/republicanparty03.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0hkqftpdKnUzu6YYITAtutSK-PN8iUrV7y5OHNPTbRhl_8rueYQzYiSbkMtJyYqeSSe2ekCeJ_FKZ0omRg55_im8J1D9z8pfNqwLXZg0F8y19AmeF9YUpGeg7_qTuLMFKH9Vz1F1RtkfU/s200/republicanparty03.gif" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No one likes an angry elephant.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-38392725156621373532011-03-12T14:41:00.000-08:002011-03-12T14:43:11.239-08:00Spiked Beauty - Miss DeathThese days style must be matched with function. That necklace? Better also be a <a href="http://www.medievalcollectibles.com/p-2742-razorneck-cuban-choker.aspx?utm_medium=shoppingengine&utm_source=googlebase&cvsfa=2951&cvsfe=2&cvsfhu=41472d50343837">choker</a> (that will...you know, actually choke somebody). Those <a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_jfkNAQ7m7NM/TP32SguJwrI/AAAAAAAAFU4/dUVYjM7q3XM/s576/wedw2.jpg">shoes</a> - well, they don't call them stilettos for nothing! That adorable bag? Can it conceal an <a href="http://www.gadgetrivia.com/photos/o/16326-favorite_designer_label_gun.jpg">automatic weapon</a>? It better. Rule #1 of End of World Fashion: Dress it up anyway you like, but make sure the firepower is deadly.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdPvQpMhVhO0rKPoiPOVrO6XC59ZnH93acWSYyiJrq1A9ceaMAuAogWWFEiscVOWZeKhW7k4DhkMPZ7aalS8a88aP6wHVTsvNIyEQZE3U_h0VlSVmGzZU1nHs2eaB-DZXJfFKAXvLgvx5B/s1600/lady_gaga_062309_splash_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdPvQpMhVhO0rKPoiPOVrO6XC59ZnH93acWSYyiJrq1A9ceaMAuAogWWFEiscVOWZeKhW7k4DhkMPZ7aalS8a88aP6wHVTsvNIyEQZE3U_h0VlSVmGzZU1nHs2eaB-DZXJfFKAXvLgvx5B/s320/lady_gaga_062309_splash_m.jpg" width="226" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lady Gaga: Prepared for the Apocalypse since 2008.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
When I saw this beautiful line of claw jewelry by <a href="http://dilanwalpola.com/">Dilan Walpola</a> on the ever handy <a href="http://trendhunter.com/" target="_blank">trendhunter.com</a>, I thought - now that's a man with his neck bolts screwed on right! Style, beauty and utility. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOJNa9NrFlooYFC9LTgbVlqa07F8pLgFe0WNMdkp7cn1bo7zhANGHplftiIQj5h3kDdtCbZlLsbPKHSQs8PdmC8tDDnje62Kunu27xE6Iuu4z8FORqUSHT4lCgEb1ZPSWAJzkq_LNM-zVN/s1600/105957_3_468.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOJNa9NrFlooYFC9LTgbVlqa07F8pLgFe0WNMdkp7cn1bo7zhANGHplftiIQj5h3kDdtCbZlLsbPKHSQs8PdmC8tDDnje62Kunu27xE6Iuu4z8FORqUSHT4lCgEb1ZPSWAJzkq_LNM-zVN/s320/105957_3_468.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I can only imagine that he was inspired by the string of mutations that have befallen humans recently. But for those of us who are still waiting for our fangs, scissorhands, and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2567084032/tt0462322">automatic weapon legs</a>, it wouldn't hurt to load up on some of these. No one - be it zombie, alien, looter, or just your average Mr. Saturday Night Bar Douchebag, will mess with you if you flash them one of these babies.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQqu772FD8o_U1CanKyF7bvqdsyq-PO9lcwzIfskesEVSIHaz57UAY9LPIM_F-8yuX7Axb0ls21KFrdpsatHeQ4C8X9VHZ5zEcGZBoTJ_e4G5ktymAAFmTArM937W_DC7XCeBPg0toDe4y/s1600/edward-scissorhands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQqu772FD8o_U1CanKyF7bvqdsyq-PO9lcwzIfskesEVSIHaz57UAY9LPIM_F-8yuX7Axb0ls21KFrdpsatHeQ4C8X9VHZ5zEcGZBoTJ_e4G5ktymAAFmTArM937W_DC7XCeBPg0toDe4y/s320/edward-scissorhands.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dilan's Fall Line, coming to a Bloomingdales near you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-68815861121311961372011-03-08T20:34:00.000-08:002011-03-08T20:34:23.642-08:00There's no time! There's never any time! - Miss Conquest<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZMCXCpz5HDoMlL3eqm8MT8sveWp5ygUifsCrNPB4sMi-T9fRkulPfJGJvA0xTiRSQwbFyrykyW_Dw92j9AH11ii53QPkwbqx6xbsXO5Zl_iCglFnTwsSbgIbGU-KA4EZzCjp6qtm8nQb9/s1600/jessie+spano+caffeine+pills+intervention+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZMCXCpz5HDoMlL3eqm8MT8sveWp5ygUifsCrNPB4sMi-T9fRkulPfJGJvA0xTiRSQwbFyrykyW_Dw92j9AH11ii53QPkwbqx6xbsXO5Zl_iCglFnTwsSbgIbGU-KA4EZzCjp6qtm8nQb9/s320/jessie+spano+caffeine+pills+intervention+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...so...eh, you know the rest.</span></div></td></tr>
</tbody></table>You said it, sister. Now pass the caffeine pills. And if you wouldn't mind, could you grind them up first and just shoot them directly into my veins? Thanks. We've got some serious work to do.<br />
<br />
In today's segment of "No Shit, Sherlock," scientists have determined that humans are bigger assholes than meteorites. According to <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1362454/Earth-heading-sixth-mass-extinction-eradicate-75-life.html">The Daily Mail</a>, all of our filthy human habits are going to cause a mass extinction of 75% of all life sometime in the next three to twenty centuries.<br />
<br />
This is NOT cool people! Are you aware of how long it takes to plan a good End of The World Party?? You are simply not giving us enough time! My to-do list is the length of Charlie Sheen's coke lines! <br />
<br />
Save the dates need to go out, caterers need to be booked. Do you know how hard it is to find someone that will cook both humans and FOR humans? The Colosseum needs a good once over with a dust rag and a vacuum (Seriously, their general upkeep is terrible.). We need to make sure R.E.M. is free to play that day (so hard to pin down). The girls and I need to go shopping for the perfect <a href="http://www.shopbop.com/jezebel-dress-two-minds/vp/v=1/845524441890172.htm?folderID=2534374302063655&fm=other-shopbysize">frocks</a> (this IS the most important day of a Horsewoman's life after all), and find the perfect escorts - you can't simply go to The End of the World Bash with just anyone! Quick! What does Clooney's 2311 looks like. Is he booked? <br />
<br />
Anyhoo. The Daily Mail is using the ever popular tactic of showing you some adorable animals to convince you to go all superhero and save the world. And gdamn it's effective!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitdv5tZJyJEbsH_ZI1j7ZziFQHcaaSnsL0caqE-cAFSU5ZDREKwIFVOhQpanpJfyV482efI8cU3ijwEIPBOMEtbEWMtIHtqDgONjLWyFXUpIpWwtlY5hUz_6N9vxpbjzEYR6C9ZQ_ZsLjS/s1600/lens2026108_1247006860giantpanda-cub-logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitdv5tZJyJEbsH_ZI1j7ZziFQHcaaSnsL0caqE-cAFSU5ZDREKwIFVOhQpanpJfyV482efI8cU3ijwEIPBOMEtbEWMtIHtqDgONjLWyFXUpIpWwtlY5hUz_6N9vxpbjzEYR6C9ZQ_ZsLjS/s320/lens2026108_1247006860giantpanda-cub-logo.jpg" width="257" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">"Plastic bottles hurt my gentle soul."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl5Q9ngVrdN2KEmPRXKOdKgr3DZ0ArpQX0DUq1dGndTpIYiJhjrgikyvL4pddshGKCNEKvnSj0OClc57bfQR4ydv6eugFtBD0YdPbi_9C0fyo18BpqstPoEzxBtDSU9oc8ZZrm02q44xog/s1600/zeus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl5Q9ngVrdN2KEmPRXKOdKgr3DZ0ArpQX0DUq1dGndTpIYiJhjrgikyvL4pddshGKCNEKvnSj0OClc57bfQR4ydv6eugFtBD0YdPbi_9C0fyo18BpqstPoEzxBtDSU9oc8ZZrm02q44xog/s320/zeus.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">"Turn off those lights or I'll cry! ...And my mom might rip out your throat. Maybe."</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVlrB34aBsQn0NVDweIOWr_-wHAkQVgc7F-ZMDIbACDt3Fv6apZlulyXRxWKESzorb5yXLojjwYuMDzTkjmmLlLW9JT_hQt-jOL_u7YGpQV5ZJ89rKfJq69R6aBN7Qnt3o-WqQFcCLb8nL/s1600/xMomBaby5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVlrB34aBsQn0NVDweIOWr_-wHAkQVgc7F-ZMDIbACDt3Fv6apZlulyXRxWKESzorb5yXLojjwYuMDzTkjmmLlLW9JT_hQt-jOL_u7YGpQV5ZJ89rKfJq69R6aBN7Qnt3o-WqQFcCLb8nL/s1600/xMomBaby5.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Secretly plotting to put human muzzles on us in our sleep. And then cackle at us in the most playful way!</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div><br />
<div>But let me try a different approach: </div><div><br />
</div><div>I know we're all anxious for the end of the world here, people. No one is more anxious than we are. Trust me. But you can't rush perfection. And believe me, you want this party to be perfect. This is your final sendoff! So if you want to be sure that we've supplied the absolute best wine for this soirée, and that we've booked all the best bands, and that this is the best damn End of Days Party you could never imagine even in your wildest dreams - RECYCLE! Go a little greener, people! Come ON! Would it kill you to buy a freakin <a href="http://www.chevrolet.com/volt/">electric car</a>? Put up a solar panel or two! If not for the sake of these poor creatures...and you know, 75% of ALL LIFE! then do it just to give a gal a little extra time to plan a party! Is that so much to ask???<br />
<br />
<div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div></div></div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-90737071140417306922011-03-08T18:33:00.000-08:002011-03-08T20:39:24.561-08:00We Buy It!The good folks at <a href="http://www.cuttingroomcomic.com/comics/1135022/nathan-fillion/">www.cuttingroomcomic.com</a> have placed their vote on the cause of this here Armageddon, and frankly, it isn't a bad hypothesis at all!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg095JyJw3t74PD9LPLMogcjpAJHERGkwuTcr00VX8842uRTPBhpW0kp1-xoCjHZxN7gqSpjuuRY4wUIajHXSiX6nxqGjDHkrntBmSb0yol571YzmaETMZAQ0d19lpOLbQH_t02nguWrWjg/s1600/efd1c467b3GVy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg095JyJw3t74PD9LPLMogcjpAJHERGkwuTcr00VX8842uRTPBhpW0kp1-xoCjHZxN7gqSpjuuRY4wUIajHXSiX6nxqGjDHkrntBmSb0yol571YzmaETMZAQ0d19lpOLbQH_t02nguWrWjg/s400/efd1c467b3GVy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">What do you think? Is this flood of fiery sulfur we're experiencing all because God is really just a frustrated <i>Firefly</i> fan? And what do you think he thinks of <i>Castle</i>?? </div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Discuss! </div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-66323516042810096922011-03-07T10:48:00.000-08:002011-03-07T10:48:51.530-08:00Oh you silly Mayans.Mayans: Punking future generations since 2000BC.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3kxuMpXwXpjRPu617QWnKMmNlg650_QOmcqSWv87q2m2mys6GFs1llzCw74WJlAu5zq-hCRj9PD11_INI6K8O5hR1RlcOgwrNlb-QQLnrUQr2cKZSsslTDEKrxIuVZmgaQ53JBN5lgHLy/s1600/demotivational-posters-mayans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3kxuMpXwXpjRPu617QWnKMmNlg650_QOmcqSWv87q2m2mys6GFs1llzCw74WJlAu5zq-hCRj9PD11_INI6K8O5hR1RlcOgwrNlb-QQLnrUQr2cKZSsslTDEKrxIuVZmgaQ53JBN5lgHLy/s320/demotivational-posters-mayans.jpg" width="262" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">This Apocalyptic Picture of the Day has been brought to you by </span><a href="http://failblog.org/2011/03/02/epic-fail-photos-very-demotivational-those-scumbag-mayans/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+failblog+%28The+FAIL+Blog+-+Fail+Pictures+%26+Videos+at+Failblog.ORG%29"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">failblog.org</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">. Winning at Failing! </span>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-57644854434613062232011-03-01T11:54:00.000-08:002011-03-01T11:54:18.946-08:00Spotted: It's a Zombie! It's an Alien! It's...Charlie Sheen? - Miss WarGood People of What's Left of Planet Earth:<br />
<br />
We here at the Offices For Orchestrating & Surviving the Apocalypse have taken a sworn oath to warn you about any hideous and dangerous new monster sitings. <br />
<br />
We've recently spotted a brand new creature. Consider this an Official Advisory for :<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"> <u><b>The Zombie-Alien Hybrid</b></u></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJQA62ArvClz25ujwHH-NGK_hOVo8nZFaF-zIU5fy4MQinxJY0HT1hoFj0jkA66RvBclq1hMv3E4P47HS6aKc6N-gDYhukJz6hFRP9oJ2wjULC44CZLK_peBr0oUj68ysfWidckGimfLSj/s1600/charlie-sheen-150x150.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJQA62ArvClz25ujwHH-NGK_hOVo8nZFaF-zIU5fy4MQinxJY0HT1hoFj0jkA66RvBclq1hMv3E4P47HS6aKc6N-gDYhukJz6hFRP9oJ2wjULC44CZLK_peBr0oUj68ysfWidckGimfLSj/s320/charlie-sheen-150x150.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Please help control the monster population and have your Zombies and Aliens spayed or neutered. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>We Horsewomen never thought we would see the day when Zombies and Aliens bred, but as <a href="http://girlsguidetotheapocalypse.blogspot.com/2009/08/miss-conquest-beheading-cleanest-break.html">Miss Conquest will tell you</a>, the Apocalypse can make you kinda desperate. <br />
<br />
The Creature is thought to be extremely drunk, highly crazy, and potentially dangerous (although thus far, it has only proven to be a <a href="http://www.deadline.com/2011/02/cbs-and-warner-bros-pull-the-plug-on-two-and-a-half-men-for-this-season/"> danger to itself and CBS</a>). <br />
<br />
News of the Creature first hit before the actual Apocalypse. We foolishly ignored the signs when CBS continuously renewed TWO AND A HALF MEN even after we were certain Mr. Sheen had surely <a href="http://www.amny.com/urbanite-1.812039/charlie-sheen-s-rep-denies-report-of-new-coke-and-hooker-binge-1.2415597">destroyed himself</a>. We should have seen what was really going on. The studio and network were actually experimenting with early forms of reanimation. By the time we accepted that Charlie Sheen was really a walking-dead puppet, zombies were already commonplace in our theaters and television sets. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhprjzuAaUg25D8F5sbuxRfCBvsPlQYb4-ZYG6mqAkI5wbpTNOAy6gIGpKaS2uYFEWDsnf9xNw9jYEi0KHAVDCZiCO34nuBbAq4XK8bX_jxIbwAmjlmetnDm9LcDnUe61OfxamrN5nYsFX4/s1600/mickey-rourke-plastic-surgery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhprjzuAaUg25D8F5sbuxRfCBvsPlQYb4-ZYG6mqAkI5wbpTNOAy6gIGpKaS2uYFEWDsnf9xNw9jYEi0KHAVDCZiCO34nuBbAq4XK8bX_jxIbwAmjlmetnDm9LcDnUe61OfxamrN5nYsFX4/s320/mickey-rourke-plastic-surgery.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Test Subject #4. Still working out that pesky facial reconstruction thing.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
We're also no stranger to Aliens in the Entertainment World. It's something we've simply gotten used to. <br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0xmpXYJO1mfFIOECMycui2xpy7XmGQkjAktp1ib0Yu4nYdG_F_sp5rMInE7uA1GDJ3XYC9oy6Rg_q7nY0sBqR4vHKygSxF7XJVhwHX_LvFdMbqRQ0oo8cdm-F1tUcq0Uowp4hNyCwPgaE/s1600/john_travolta_diet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0xmpXYJO1mfFIOECMycui2xpy7XmGQkjAktp1ib0Yu4nYdG_F_sp5rMInE7uA1GDJ3XYC9oy6Rg_q7nY0sBqR4vHKygSxF7XJVhwHX_LvFdMbqRQ0oo8cdm-F1tUcq0Uowp4hNyCwPgaE/s200/john_travolta_diet.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aliens: Vacationing on Planet Earth since the early '70s.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
But recently, whole new threat has landed on the streets. <br />
<br />
At first we didn't know what to make of it. The Creature looked like Zombie Sheen but had taken on a whole new level of Crazy. Finally, yesterday, the Creature came forward and confessed what it truly was. It told us that: <a class="kLink" href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_95199385" id="KonaLink0" style="font-family: inherit ! important; font-size: inherit ! important; font-weight: inherit ! important; position: static; text-decoration: underline ! important;">“I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ <span style="color: green ! important; font-family: inherit ! important; font-size: inherit ! important; font-weight: inherit ! important; position: static;"><span class="kLink" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid green; color: green ! important; font-family: inherit ! important; font-size: inherit ! important; font-weight: inherit ! important; position: relative;">rock </span><span class="kLink" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid green; color: green ! important; font-family: inherit ! important; font-size: inherit ! important; font-weight: inherit ! important; position: relative;">star</span></span></a><a href="http://dailycaller.com/2011/02/28/charlie-sheen-im-tired-of-pretending-like-im-not-bitchin-a-total-freakin-rock-star-from-mars/#ixzz1FNJWYHgJ"> from Mars.”</a><br />
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><br />
It all makes so much more sense now.</div><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRAcnf4Dy9C5kZNAAURMOQYYk6O-1mq9DaE25H8lGMXwKgSgOeLZUC6Zy0w1jSR4n2HSE7BgPJjzRg0j739i4Z8HNQSEt2PFYonaG-X76mHjm0KxWGWXalmgc1ua-Wa4mQxfFpAF8PBssv/s1600/charlie_sheen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRAcnf4Dy9C5kZNAAURMOQYYk6O-1mq9DaE25H8lGMXwKgSgOeLZUC6Zy0w1jSR4n2HSE7BgPJjzRg0j739i4Z8HNQSEt2PFYonaG-X76mHjm0KxWGWXalmgc1ua-Wa4mQxfFpAF8PBssv/s320/charlie_sheen.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I have come to mate with your porn stars, melt your faces, and take your money." </td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><br />
</div><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/charlie-sheen-today-interview-video-2011-2#ixzz1FNIzGRSq"></a><br />
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"></div><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"></div><br />
IF YOU SEE IT: <br />
Throwing money and hookers at the Creature seems to subdue it for a few moments, allowing you enough time to run away. It's not very fast and easily trips over its own words and thought processes.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9iJdRheeWkxFUaMPDhV1-QYKSgD6lh6J5XZaK26S3biX-m5gNieufgdds2XguvNenjOVbZatOXy3Ntkmq5_XyMm9qasJ93K0c2sO6hCDcOi27PrqzyFNA2TNVeSLAthbxH6aKMFACsqmy/s1600/gold-coins.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9iJdRheeWkxFUaMPDhV1-QYKSgD6lh6J5XZaK26S3biX-m5gNieufgdds2XguvNenjOVbZatOXy3Ntkmq5_XyMm9qasJ93K0c2sO6hCDcOi27PrqzyFNA2TNVeSLAthbxH6aKMFACsqmy/s200/gold-coins.jpeg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shiny...</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
WARNING:<br />
Whatever you do, do NOT feed it drugs and alcohol. This seems to be as dangerous as feeding a Mogwai after midnight.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWYcIG1ZymzekhbnkOgzfjGL5VPqjsNi78n-vU5GLwxlZTNo-osyVJ9wZ-UoOnDZUR1HszBEL28sxlWZdbpnyxCSPfXvSkNxXWlVnKXuDT0vm1TmQf9kN1QX2DTomrigvAxV7Mt6yLCfxM/s1600/gremlin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWYcIG1ZymzekhbnkOgzfjGL5VPqjsNi78n-vU5GLwxlZTNo-osyVJ9wZ-UoOnDZUR1HszBEL28sxlWZdbpnyxCSPfXvSkNxXWlVnKXuDT0vm1TmQf9kN1QX2DTomrigvAxV7Mt6yLCfxM/s200/gremlin.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just added to the 2011-2012 CBS Lineup.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-22767258610800725902010-09-21T19:33:00.000-07:002010-09-21T19:37:21.178-07:00Let's Just Ignore That Hiatus - Miss War<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLVsDum7TJbav8jXMMc-L9nIaT4x9OzxEVlfFuUe6D-Miud97hIZmY8cPv5NtZNgkcIpaq5py9l48nTRLHmPK34QZF4gblmANBYFe_POky3DbBZz0BjTRPFvJSm69275sFIrRnyB8iumbE/s1600/zombie_cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLVsDum7TJbav8jXMMc-L9nIaT4x9OzxEVlfFuUe6D-Miud97hIZmY8cPv5NtZNgkcIpaq5py9l48nTRLHmPK34QZF4gblmANBYFe_POky3DbBZz0BjTRPFvJSm69275sFIrRnyB8iumbE/s320/zombie_cat.jpg" /></a></div>When did we last post a blog...let's see here. Jesus Christmas! June 11?? Time flies when it doesn't exist. <br />
<br />
Important Updates from Our Hiatus: Same shit, different day. Frankly, there just wasn't much to report. BP killed off the Gulf (which saved us loads of time.) Justin Cronin came out with the Vampire Bible known as "The Passage," and we got tan this summer. Hallefreakinlujah. <br />
<br />
The office doors are open and we are hard at work blogging again (can you hear us? Blog bloggity blog blog.) We also just hired a new freelance writer to help us out because the dude levels around this office were running dangerously low. <br />
<br />
Meet Martin. He is our new freelance blogger and he is a boy. That pretty much summed up everything that we knew about him until about a week ago. Then things got interesting.<br />
<br />
Martin is a bit green. He's wet behind the ears. He's willing, eager and stupid. How he convinced us to let him write for us, I will never know. All I know is that Miss Death has been throwing her clavicle up in his face all week like a cheap zombie trick. Thankfully, the kid can string two sentences together in some semblance of a blog post, so we'll keep him around for now. But I digress.<br />
<br />
There's one hell of a zombie virus running amok. Just like flu season, it comes and goes, but this outbreak has been bad. Nearly everyone we're friends with has come down with it. So it goes without saying that our easily excited and not-very-smart freelancer, Martin, got caught with his proverbial pants down one night while jogging through the neighborhood and long story short, the kid's a damn zombie now. <br />
<br />
He's doing well considering. Once the projectile bloody vomiting subsided and his orifices stopped leaking and he took a shower, he's fairly back to normal, apart from the whole "becoming a zombie" thing. He's actually getting out more. We suspect he had a date last week with the zombie secretary from the office next door. <br />
<br />
But since this whole zombie thing is still new to Martin, the real problems haven't started yet. See, zombie-ism comes with a whole new set of problems if you will. There's the constant oozing, the agonizing pain as your cells die, and the leprosy. Martin will, within a few weeks, literally go to pieces right before our very eyes. Moisturize all you like, Martin. Your skin is still going to fall off. <br />
<br />
We did what we thought was best and took a bunch of bets at Martin's expense. We've got a really solid pool going right now on which body part will fall off first. I have $25 on his fingers going first. Miss Death put $40 on his legs. And Miss Famine is just a filthy dirtball.<br />
<br />
If he hopes to get anywhere with this secretary, he's going to have to do it fast.<br />
<br />
We'll keep you updated on Martin and his zombie shortcomings, and we also solemnly vow to keep blogging! No more hiatus.No more messing around. We are serious, damnit! Blog bloggity blog blog!<br />
<br />
Until next time, here's hoping Miss Famine is wrong - for Martin's sake.A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-84507241183003090602010-06-11T12:59:00.000-07:002010-06-11T13:24:48.203-07:00The Horsewomen are World Cup bound! Thanks, BP! - Miss Famine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9dnANqMhCKk145sKGIt7lWL1zZnZKgF6d9fYYsGgFm-CHMPjF8_gWLKk3_p1ah4OYJ8MeOAvU4CDWz1RVAHk7cbLcvzdMaXJ-JtrA6_PU_ZDaSBLLJ7Ia89iudysZ678pCVcMfXgkfRko/s1600/13594.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9dnANqMhCKk145sKGIt7lWL1zZnZKgF6d9fYYsGgFm-CHMPjF8_gWLKk3_p1ah4OYJ8MeOAvU4CDWz1RVAHk7cbLcvzdMaXJ-JtrA6_PU_ZDaSBLLJ7Ia89iudysZ678pCVcMfXgkfRko/s200/13594.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>I woke up very early today. And I am not a morning person. But today there was a spring in my step as I hopped out of bed, threw on my team's colors, and trotted down to our local pub to watch Mexico take on hosts South Africa in the kick off game of the <a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/index.html">2010 FIFA World Cup</a>! It ended in a tie, but what a game! Mexico scored in the first two minutes! I hadn't even had a chance to order my breakfast (bangers and mash anyone?) and people were already up and doing victory dances. God I love soccer. And I think God loves soccer too.<br />
<br />
In general, I'm about as big of a sports fan as I am a morning fan. Apparently the <a href="http://www.nba.com/finals2010/index.html">NBA finals</a> are going on? Someone mentioned something about last night's Lakers/Celtics game. And all I could think was, <i>Hold a tic. I thought Ireland didn't make the tournament this year... </i><br />
<br />
But then my bloody mary arrived and my attention reverted to the sporting event at hand (and the spicy beverage in MY hand).<br />
<br />
The girls and I love the World Cup. We have a countdown to it every four years. And thank goodness the time difference this year is such that we're not going to repeat the Sleepless Summer of '02.<br />
<br />
There's something special about soccer. Maybe it's the way it unites the world. Like the Olympics, Round Two. Maybe it's the <strike>obsession</strike> passion that the fans have for their teams that leads to monster <strike>riots</strike> celebrations the world over. Maybe it's the fact that it's a great excuse to drink during the work day.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHh_Z9Pbo81PV_0SqdIGWf3ZDJSics8TK3HV2nC3baBEwDuoKmVOkmPVPNecL1IPeZrD1-DB5VhpXqM3rlxb0X4ljrz3JIyoPGovavMW1TA1D33u5BEb8dZzeM9IYl09aCzu6fyMqu1Een/s1600/pub_display_image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHh_Z9Pbo81PV_0SqdIGWf3ZDJSics8TK3HV2nC3baBEwDuoKmVOkmPVPNecL1IPeZrD1-DB5VhpXqM3rlxb0X4ljrz3JIyoPGovavMW1TA1D33u5BEb8dZzeM9IYl09aCzu6fyMqu1Een/s200/pub_display_image.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">We could learn a thing or two from the Europeans. Like, NBA finals should be played at 11am. On a Tuesday. </span></div><br />
I spent a lot of time pondering why soccer is so awesome this morning. And finally sometime around my third bloody mary, Miss Conquest reached over and smacked me upside the head. "Stop nattering to yourself, Famine. People are looking at you funny, and it's not because of your scythe. The <i>players </i>are why we watch soccer. They're hot."<br />
<br />
I'm not quite as shallow as Miss Conquest. I like the intense competition. The sportsmanship. The fact that soccer most likely evolved from a sport where players kicked a human head around a field. (All who think they should bring back that tradition, say Ay! I'm writing a letter to FIFA.)<br />
<br />
But she has a point. Example: Miss War's favorite team? France. Why? Yoann Gourcuff. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRxHUeECrigJXgpTcK_JKSfaSIWdni5ZRuU6RvvstTVFXccrjnLy3r1rfq6UlyEpGKI1oUUIg-VojOyIPBk2601tTU7gWAkZLDQgPkPzKS17GGeENMfP2cpff0auDUCDMNVw_R91VDxtwu/s1600/81502-yoann-gourcuff-637x0-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRxHUeECrigJXgpTcK_JKSfaSIWdni5ZRuU6RvvstTVFXccrjnLy3r1rfq6UlyEpGKI1oUUIg-VojOyIPBk2601tTU7gWAkZLDQgPkPzKS17GGeENMfP2cpff0auDUCDMNVw_R91VDxtwu/s200/81502-yoann-gourcuff-637x0-1.jpg" width="132" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Bordeaux is now officially War's favorite wine AND team. </span></div> <a class="firstColor" href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=254144/index.html" style="text-decoration: none;"> </a><br />
<br />
We all know Miss Conquest is a pure blooded American Girl, so she has no trouble at all cheering for the USofA and its captain, Carlos Bocanegra.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyKHpVH7auFy6VSrfaMsomhawKsujvskJ4ZYfO11aQRplXNGUpTEmMlKmidwiS7_c9XM4eCQ_1iTsWRZn0bSxUhb4WEyv_40oHgfDp1_W96d93gKuZ_ZaDPlJKrnB3-1NFCarLIvsSMeyY/s1600/carlos-bocanegra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyKHpVH7auFy6VSrfaMsomhawKsujvskJ4ZYfO11aQRplXNGUpTEmMlKmidwiS7_c9XM4eCQ_1iTsWRZn0bSxUhb4WEyv_40oHgfDp1_W96d93gKuZ_ZaDPlJKrnB3-1NFCarLIvsSMeyY/s200/carlos-bocanegra.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">The REAL Captain America</span></div><br />
<br />
And Miss Death's favorite player?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT_6Jf4c156bByAVrcfEze7EEH94cyjqkK6kNh4f_alJingeuenIseiut6pW1PDboCu-pGTlbWTuQN5x3aL5nheZ6HRA464UVIfCXoLMlV3m8y56SAr0mrCMo_pyJtxYv5ZZaJ_xf0YAJN/s1600/post_image-david_beckham_suit.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT_6Jf4c156bByAVrcfEze7EEH94cyjqkK6kNh4f_alJingeuenIseiut6pW1PDboCu-pGTlbWTuQN5x3aL5nheZ6HRA464UVIfCXoLMlV3m8y56SAr0mrCMo_pyJtxYv5ZZaJ_xf0YAJN/s200/post_image-david_beckham_suit.JPG" width="134" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Surprise. Surprise. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div>According to her, the fact that Becks is sidelined with an injury just means he gets to dress better than everybody else. <br />
<br />
<br />
We're now in the midst of the Uruguay/France game, which is off to a much slower start than --<br />
<br />
WHAT?! Miss Death just ran into the pub with the most amazing news: <br />
<br />
"BP can't get more tankers to even BEGIN dealing with the <a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/subjects/o/oil_spills/gulf_of_mexico_2010/index.html?scp=1-spot&sq=BP%20oil%20spill&st=cse">oil spill</a> until JULY now! They've got the Apocalypse COVERED. Let's take a vacation!!!" <br />
<br />
And we're off!! <br />
<br />
See ya later, readers! The girls and I are headed to South Africa!!!<br />
<br />
And thanks Oil Industry for making our jobs easy and sponsoring this here Apocalypse! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">THE APOCALYPSE</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-UAbjl_TzD4h81a_sQPI6DE0SYs7bvEdwt4dlwpfntsNOXTDOKZwqL_hl6fFb0Zi0SAFq40BcxbzT0qLm7P91TKRCCfAqEhddC8DLZbL3hm1d4yg4pA3qmYSfylwZHlx-roQ2R7O-IqD3/s1600/exploding-earth-bomb-clip-art-thumb2794671.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-UAbjl_TzD4h81a_sQPI6DE0SYs7bvEdwt4dlwpfntsNOXTDOKZwqL_hl6fFb0Zi0SAFq40BcxbzT0qLm7P91TKRCCfAqEhddC8DLZbL3hm1d4yg4pA3qmYSfylwZHlx-roQ2R7O-IqD3/s320/exploding-earth-bomb-clip-art-thumb2794671.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Brought to you by your friends at BP </span></div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-43998192026603002572010-05-21T17:03:00.000-07:002010-05-21T17:24:16.866-07:00Learning to Love Life After LOST - Miss WarWe're approaching <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1467635/">"The End."</a> And I'm preparing to mourn. As of this Sunday (11:31pm PST), I will be a regular Queen Victoria.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmp7p19UKSZA7BhDQLG8Pp-OGvA1vqVaVGZaKAVuuy2QLGJHtFO0A3z2kVBIbc9wwsUaNlmgne8ul1TCjjz_WwqZyslX5eX_oTqXQs491f8J_YZTjWcLhaySV5EAnSZaxrkeTBh57JYEiF/s1600/Victoria-inMourning.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmp7p19UKSZA7BhDQLG8Pp-OGvA1vqVaVGZaKAVuuy2QLGJHtFO0A3z2kVBIbc9wwsUaNlmgne8ul1TCjjz_WwqZyslX5eX_oTqXQs491f8J_YZTjWcLhaySV5EAnSZaxrkeTBh57JYEiF/s200/Victoria-inMourning.jpg" width="123" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;">They say she was mourning her Prince. I say she was mourning TWIN PEAKS.</span></div><br />
But to be honest, I'm already starting to spiral. I can already feel the harrowing, gaping hole that will be left when...<br />
<br />
What? I am NOT over-dramatic! How DARE you!?<br />
<br />
Sigh.<br />
<br />
Ok. You're right. I took a sacred vow to help you all survive the Apocalypse. And it's game time, people. Because if the end of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fentity%2FLost%2FB001CH30KC%3Fie%3DUTF8%26ref_%3Dep%5Fsprkl%5Ftv%5FB001CH30KC&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957">LOST</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=ur2&o=1" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> isn't the end of the World, I don't know what is. So the last thing I should be doing right now is sobbing silently while curled up in a corner.<br />
<br />
I know, I know. I can hear you all loud and clear: "Suck it up, War!" "It's just a flipping TV show!" "Do your JOB!" <br />
<br />
Well stop shouting already!!! I get it. You need your "guidance." Your "survival tips." Fine.<br />
<br />
Babies.<br />
<br />
So here it is. A list of things to help you survive this horrible, traumatic, painful void you're about to experience. My advice for defeating LOST Withdrawal, aka:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Miss War's Helping Hands: Learning to Love Life After LOST. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Coming soon to a bookseller near you.)</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik0nxX9KowdjlsFlpupOgu9uhfe5jXrG-dWBJmuWFelqEybt2U2PUEVnQhEV-hpYsS095pb6eJEZNJrLZJmY4zbTSCHuO4YVYREhtCluOX8tg7aA4dxgIfzCvjdD6PfmJojo_A9726CBHJ/s1600/4330161785_82859bcfe8_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik0nxX9KowdjlsFlpupOgu9uhfe5jXrG-dWBJmuWFelqEybt2U2PUEVnQhEV-hpYsS095pb6eJEZNJrLZJmY4zbTSCHuO4YVYREhtCluOX8tg7aA4dxgIfzCvjdD6PfmJojo_A9726CBHJ/s200/4330161785_82859bcfe8_o.jpg" width="143" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;">"Stage One: preparation. For this you will need: one room which you will not leave; one mattress; tomato soup, ten tins of; mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold; ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of; Magnesia, Milk of, one bottle; paracetamol; mouth wash; vitamins; mineral water; Lucozade; pornography --" Wait. Well, the pornography is optional.</span></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaM5dxBVT5m8dfSDStCdCA630WtTW5bltmrhrcL5-wYa7BQLivaLDSedMCcONZc-LXXQ3i_wlDHq5edkDF9XSZjbMlFKUOfIqn7cUQOXmksSE_vLIlXUhRLb2xTys25uM5NZN-qYAYaTE/s1600/Mad+Men.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaM5dxBVT5m8dfSDStCdCA630WtTW5bltmrhrcL5-wYa7BQLivaLDSedMCcONZc-LXXQ3i_wlDHq5edkDF9XSZjbMlFKUOfIqn7cUQOXmksSE_vLIlXUhRLb2xTys25uM5NZN-qYAYaTE/s200/Mad+Men.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><b>1.) <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fentity%2FMadMen%2FB001CHR990%3Fie%3DUTF8%26ref_%3Dsr%5Ftc%5F2%5F0%26qid%3D1274481530%26sr%3D1-2-ent&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957">MAD MEN</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=ur2&o=1" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /></b><br />
Matthew Weiner's Emmy-hogging love/hate song to the 60's may not have the maddening island conundrums of LOST, but <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgO9GBuEG9A">Don Draper</a> is hands down our new favorite Man of Mystery. Add in a cast of ridiculously flawed characters, vague and haunting pasts, and a decade that's more explosive than Jughead, and you've got one hell of a water cooler show. Just fix yourself an Old Fashioned, put on your <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/37778906/vintage-jackie-o-pillbox-hat">pillbox hat</a>, and catch up on the first three seasons while patiently (read: anxiously) awaiting Season Four - set to premier on Sunday, July 25 on AMC.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKl_SaaLnfVmqVteKnq1UbwoJAV4bACyz6OjHFgu32lCfC4pMF_sjKHOTv5YDO4ut-gssW83a6JOyANwZNOWL_9ZoejV-1K7Jf2eUmK4n9n5_un7Jp5ZXpiM_Mr-yTOy7sWg7D55He2oxj/s1600/inline-old-fashioned.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKl_SaaLnfVmqVteKnq1UbwoJAV4bACyz6OjHFgu32lCfC4pMF_sjKHOTv5YDO4ut-gssW83a6JOyANwZNOWL_9ZoejV-1K7Jf2eUmK4n9n5_un7Jp5ZXpiM_Mr-yTOy7sWg7D55He2oxj/s200/inline-old-fashioned.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">2 oz Burbon</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">2 dashes of bitters</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1 splash of water</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1 tsp of superfine sugar (superfine!)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1 maraschino cherry </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1 orange wedge </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>2.) Reconnect With Your Non-LOST-Lovin' Friends.</b><br />
You remember them, right? You may have last talked to them sometime around the summer of 2004, right before you started spouting theories about purgatory and the Hanso Corp. Well, they miss you. Take them out to <a href="http://www.fathersoffice.com/">dinner</a>. Buy them a <a href="http://www.bohorestaurant.com/home.html">beer</a>. Apologize for being insane for the last six years, and then try engaging in conversations about less controversial topics. Like politics. And religion.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>3.) READ</b><br />
LOST did not, and does not, exist in a vacuum. The producers love to "book-bomb" episodes, especially via the nick-name savvy Sawyer, and they've openly discussed their literary influences. (Steven King's canon, specifically <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0451169530?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0451169530">"The Stand"</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0451169530" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0451211243?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0451211243">"The Dark Tower"</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0451211243" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> series are confirmed influences.) There are even novels that the producers haven't mentioned, but have been sighted and dissected by a bunch of crazy LOST bloggers and critics (ahem, <a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20313460_20386359,00.html">Doc Jensen</a>).<br />
<br />
It's no secret. Unlike Most TV shows, Lost desperately wants us to expand our minds. And there's something here for everyone. Whether you're looking to further your understanding of physics and the space/time continuum, open your soul to new philosophies, or simply reacquaint yourself with the classics, Lost has a book for you!<br />
<br />
Here are just a few suggestions to kick off your summer reading list:<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/144140791X?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=144140791X">Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=144140791X" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /></b> - by Lewis Carroll<br />
Both have inspired more episode titles than any other book ("Through the Looking Glass," "White Rabbit"). In "The Lighthouse," Jack's Sideways Son, David, is reading the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393048470?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0393048470">The Annotated Alice</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0393048470" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" />. Also, both books contain <a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20313460_20347892,00.html">themes</a> that are, ahem, mirrored ad nauseam in LOST.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNrye3p7Vg0gxJpiCJKR0qZP0NB8QQy4km31QEO7FO8mssWuTQoto5awubxCg4spJhoJZ8pg0eHsmHc7JhHumbllhyrikPoQxGMYomXZ7ssU2ytRmLO0Xv2r5H4vlIzvwhyphenhyphenxPnkDpQi9z5/s1600/6a00ccff97f7086ea500e398cec1c20005-500pi.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNrye3p7Vg0gxJpiCJKR0qZP0NB8QQy4km31QEO7FO8mssWuTQoto5awubxCg4spJhoJZ8pg0eHsmHc7JhHumbllhyrikPoQxGMYomXZ7ssU2ytRmLO0Xv2r5H4vlIzvwhyphenhyphenxPnkDpQi9z5/s200/6a00ccff97f7086ea500e398cec1c20005-500pi.gif" width="148" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553103741?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0553103741">The Brief History of Time</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0553103741" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /></b> - by Steven Hawking<br />
Steven Hawking's attempt to explain Space, Time, and Physics to us non-geniuses. Seen on Ben's bookshelf, and it's a pretty safe bet that Hawking is the namesake of one Ms. Eloise Hawking, Governess of Time and Space.<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0140157379?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0140157379">Haroun and the Sea of Stories</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0140157379" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /></b> - by Salman Rushdie<br />
Variable Desmond is reading this before he mysteriously disappears form Sideways Flight 815. Also, confirmed but reliable crazy man, <a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20341211,00.html">Doc Jensen</a>, is CONVINCED this book serves as a bedrock for Season 6.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remember_Be_Here_Now_%28book%29">BE HERE NOW</a> - by Ram Dass (aka: Richard Alpert)<br />
Let me try that again. By <i>RICHARD ALPERT</i>. A book on spirituality and meditation written by Ricardos' namesake. There are 108 pages in it. One might be so inclined to flip to pages 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. Oh, and LOOK AT THE COVER.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM11yAsGJ3hcBGIwi9BZ1-wkUzWzXGhtMJsLZVKxFXQDIhgX587U1L9pZ2aKoYRC_Bc1YSuuy3tevamymmyN9P-vs7sE-_-Pidhyphenhyphenws0d_M502VB6AEA2RE48VP2I0l0Q3Vd_KLvgOyXkrf/s1600/6a00d41447d2f26a4700cd9741c4804cd5-500pi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM11yAsGJ3hcBGIwi9BZ1-wkUzWzXGhtMJsLZVKxFXQDIhgX587U1L9pZ2aKoYRC_Bc1YSuuy3tevamymmyN9P-vs7sE-_-Pidhyphenhyphenws0d_M502VB6AEA2RE48VP2I0l0Q3Vd_KLvgOyXkrf/s200/6a00d41447d2f26a4700cd9741c4804cd5-500pi.jpg" width="198" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0142000671?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0142000671">Of Mice and Men</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0142000671" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /></b> -by John Steinbeck<br />
Oh Sawyer, you quippy, pessimistic, lovable Redneck. Of COURSE Steinbeck is your favorite author. Every time you get even remotely close to the American Dream, someone up and yanks it out from under you. It's useless. Will anyone ever let you play house? For a better and more intimate understanding of your favorite conman, Steinbeck's classic is a must-read.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_2013969301">For a more comprehensive list of Lost Literature, hop on over to Lostpedi</a><a href="http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Literary_works">a. </a><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>4.) TRAVEL</b><br />
Hey, everybody! Guess what! There's a whole wide world out there, and it exists OUTSIDE of your TV screen! <br />
<br />
So you've spent six years immersed in a fictional world. Now what? Where do you start?<br />
<br />
Let LOST be your guide! Start off with a relaxing vacation in <a href="http://www.kahalaresort.com/">Oahu, Hawaii</a>. You can sunbath on the <a href="http://gohawaii.about.com/od/oahuactivities/ss/lost_locations_2.htm">crash site beach</a>, hike through the <a href="http://gohawaii.about.com/od/oahuactivities/ss/lost_locations_3.htm">Ka'a'awa Valley</a>, then go swimming in the <a href="http://gohawaii.about.com/od/oahuactivities/ss/lost_locations_12.htm">Waimea Falls</a>. <br />
<br />
When you've had enough fun in the sun, take a conscience-bending tour of the British Isles and follow in Desmond's time-slipping footsteps. Start in Desmond's home country of Scotland. Give <a href="http://www.thebalmoralhotel.com/">Edinburgh</a> and the <a href="http://scottishhighlandadventures.co.uk/">Highlands</a> a whirl, but come prepared for some "end of the world type weather." Then take the rail down for a few days in <a href="http://www.fourseasons.com/canarywharf/pagea.html?source=gaw09cnwS04&kw=london+luxury+resort&KW_ID=P93053042&creative=4054284196&type=search&keyword=london%20luxury%20resort&adid=4054284196&placement=&gclid=COOfsI2v5KECFRRM5QodiR1zLQ">London</a>, home of Widmore Industries. London is full of life and magic - pay careful attention to street performers. You never know when you're going to stumble across a has-been rock star doing a cover of Oasis' "Wonderwall." Finally, rush over to <a href="http://www.ox.ac.uk/">Oxford</a> for some highbrow discussions about space/time. And rats.<br />
<br />
If you're feeling REALLY brave, jet off to the Outback itself. <a href="http://www.nomadsworld.com/productlist.asp?backpack=sydney+adventure+tours">Sydney</a> is only the beginning of your Australian adventure. Gear up for a traditional <a href="http://www.letstrekaustralia.com/tours/WA.html">Walkabout</a>. Then hit the beach for some <a href="http://www.stonedcrow.com/news_and_sport/surf_oz.htm">serious surfing</a> (watch out for Dharma sharks), and finally take a tour of some traditional <a href="http://aftagriculturaltourism.com.au/">Australian farms</a>. Whatever you do, do not return to Los Angeles via any flight with a number that contains 8, 1, or 5. We'd say Flight 397 is probably your best bet.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCBYNmv0wpo1i0x-yTp-5Qb7BrphY4ozDX1atu-XKzcpWE-GOl71LusT_Vng70Vi4uxGcGVC6blU_83b7HEIyhUeqzFUJOSXOx9UebPvz7-JfUM9xAnlS2hafHQ0Z03DgwWYh-h3Gu28xU/s1600/mohnl_ext_02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCBYNmv0wpo1i0x-yTp-5Qb7BrphY4ozDX1atu-XKzcpWE-GOl71LusT_Vng70Vi4uxGcGVC6blU_83b7HEIyhUeqzFUJOSXOx9UebPvz7-JfUM9xAnlS2hafHQ0Z03DgwWYh-h3Gu28xU/s200/mohnl_ext_02.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;">"Guys, where are we?" "Oahu, you moron."</span></div><br />
<br />
So here we go! Life after LOST! I'm ready for it. I really am. And I hope you are now too. If you have more ideas for how to deal with the void, share your thoughts below!<br />
<br />
<br />
Namaste,<br />
Miss WarA Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-57124968418880877012010-04-05T07:47:00.000-07:002010-04-05T07:47:16.015-07:00Happy Zombie Easter, ya'll!Even after the Apoc, Easter is still considered a big deal! The undead unfreeze from winter hibernation and began to roam the wasteland that is Earth once more. AND I get to wear flip flops. WOOT!<br />
<br />
We don't hide eggs anymore though (no chickens,) we hide chocolate covered body parts. The zombies really dig it.<br />
<br />
Happy Zombie Easter, everyone! May your body parts not be covered in chocolate and hidden in little piles of plastic grass!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC1JbXSFROW3jdUPM_PVkAyF54WWPKv_CmYGJxt0d4kow6cmUPECF5qBHSBnvpr9BVKYs8tr8VwFPMekgBneQEL939tdGtgT3qxtc6_D0hyphenhyphenY6caLfIuTDMT0jcGA-xNHm-nbF-WIRl7Q3C/s1600/Zombie+apoc" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC1JbXSFROW3jdUPM_PVkAyF54WWPKv_CmYGJxt0d4kow6cmUPECF5qBHSBnvpr9BVKYs8tr8VwFPMekgBneQEL939tdGtgT3qxtc6_D0hyphenhyphenY6caLfIuTDMT0jcGA-xNHm-nbF-WIRl7Q3C/s640/Zombie+apoc" width="640" /></a></div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-30608659568359555242010-04-01T18:02:00.000-07:002010-04-01T18:02:22.589-07:00Phew.Just kidding. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
APRIL FOOLS!! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghD99Dwr4F7WIxrn_24H3jK4r1mB_AkSaBD4Uf1oqrhytqzxaLasP4tZseOyiUnoB-lz_Ja2D1G0GELWLnM9c8RNNEdXYAcMUaMP4zXnHAVrY026mUKqfDkJwPno2Lpb9g7VKNYKvipLnI/s1600/20020807.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghD99Dwr4F7WIxrn_24H3jK4r1mB_AkSaBD4Uf1oqrhytqzxaLasP4tZseOyiUnoB-lz_Ja2D1G0GELWLnM9c8RNNEdXYAcMUaMP4zXnHAVrY026mUKqfDkJwPno2Lpb9g7VKNYKvipLnI/s320/20020807.jpg" /></a></div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-87504915947175069992010-04-01T18:00:00.000-07:002010-04-01T18:00:26.567-07:00Oh...NO!Hey guess what everybody!<br />
<br />
<br />
The World ISN'T ending!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigC-IRtbzXyVdxqC2KH_VEZMktIYOgheVof6MahFBTwXDdmKWQMmnDLuDo_-nbdZEg6GduCLHTcpF-UsEt_Z7IZNYo_4K_w7ytMvwYMo0nq5qrX5paVuz6NbONJc6eAMJDSGJWdDy5zAOg/s1600/smiling-planet-earth-cartoon-2-thum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigC-IRtbzXyVdxqC2KH_VEZMktIYOgheVof6MahFBTwXDdmKWQMmnDLuDo_-nbdZEg6GduCLHTcpF-UsEt_Z7IZNYo_4K_w7ytMvwYMo0nq5qrX5paVuz6NbONJc6eAMJDSGJWdDy5zAOg/s320/smiling-planet-earth-cartoon-2-thum.jpg" /></a></div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-44730088410403134482010-02-11T17:17:00.000-08:002010-02-11T17:22:03.605-08:00Zombies Don't Eat Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats THEM. With a side of ketchup. And a pickle. - Miss War<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3lf7KSj0vg-BSLxDPZ5XH1vOUrI1UzS0pTf_h3q_6GvpLoMjybMxcqniejK8pwjWHTN1GAdOleGL0l9p0T-qacyrJJ8wujuvPK_Tj0gHt77m_PMAfC5psquxp6ELiaiJAxh9AxzdBOYkO/s1600-h/chucknorris.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3lf7KSj0vg-BSLxDPZ5XH1vOUrI1UzS0pTf_h3q_6GvpLoMjybMxcqniejK8pwjWHTN1GAdOleGL0l9p0T-qacyrJJ8wujuvPK_Tj0gHt77m_PMAfC5psquxp6ELiaiJAxh9AxzdBOYkO/s200/chucknorris.jpg" width="160" /></a></div>Let us never again say that the Apocalypse is giving us craptastic movies! In the wake of the shocking announcement that Sony will <a href="http://www.deadline.com/hollywood/urgent-spider-man-4-scrapped-as-is-raimi-and-cast-out-franchise-reboot-planned/">reboot the Spider-Man franchise</a> with a younger, grittier, "Twilightier" version, we're now hearing (very faint) buzz that <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0353673/">Paul Haggis</a> is looking to give the same treatment to his classic series,<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00171FPMO?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00171FPMO">"Walker, Texas Ranger."</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00171FPMO" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1nyVATtP_6ZfDeQZiZ3D7SB2GEn2_BGpAyld_B7I023BBQvqPV1y_iaz_SA_3roh7jVFb-Lcj1Ff7v77PrBrlwbC1OYovyw5K81uuwumVWHPp0SwBTnmBxQoDM7dTDNHDxKNnuLt0JbA3/s1600-h/310toyumaprem30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1nyVATtP_6ZfDeQZiZ3D7SB2GEn2_BGpAyld_B7I023BBQvqPV1y_iaz_SA_3roh7jVFb-Lcj1Ff7v77PrBrlwbC1OYovyw5K81uuwumVWHPp0SwBTnmBxQoDM7dTDNHDxKNnuLt0JbA3/s200/310toyumaprem30.jpg" width="145" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">BTW: THIS guy is being tapped as the new "gritty" Spidey. When he blinks, his eyelids say "Badass" and "Awesome."</span></div><br />
But how, you ask, could they EVER make Chuck Norris even grittier and badassier than he already is!!!?? <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyKwjeqoDsHkd4G_G5ZDiS9VuxIZfbDbNSwuQDUMKjgg0s866m-2Ek3nHOJAR5ey1V9nocugcScxEqpAT1jxigWNuz2NZVUaLMUQrgK_kcftvnhanBRwPhIarIE4QzJgyKBtBeH6SH75eY/s1600-h/chuck-norris-with-guns.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyKwjeqoDsHkd4G_G5ZDiS9VuxIZfbDbNSwuQDUMKjgg0s866m-2Ek3nHOJAR5ey1V9nocugcScxEqpAT1jxigWNuz2NZVUaLMUQrgK_kcftvnhanBRwPhIarIE4QzJgyKBtBeH6SH75eY/s320/chuck-norris-with-guns.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Only Chuck Norris has the answer. And he's not in a sharing mood.</span></div><br />
Well, after defeating every villain known to the West with his left pinkie, Chuck Norris went into a deep depression. But then as luck would have it, the Apocalypse hit! And he was back and better than ever! Single-handedly stopping tsunamis by drinking entire oceans in a single gulp. Eradicating subsequent droughts by taking an extended piss. Who was there to slingshot the aliens back into orbit? Chuck Norris, that's who! And who stopped California from slipping into the Pacific after The Big One by sewing tectonic plates back together with his own muscle fibers!? You guessed it! Chuck Norris! (Worry not, he's got enough muscle to wrap around the earth 47,000 times.)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaALusONwcLahu8uyGvMU8xz2gbr3f383ssvbMxpYCRX5UJSCNkH532MoXiaNYz4TPWAOllwGl1AxKdTmtwWIj0cZnt1drpFLpPhHbIQDd_q-GxlXQZbatj8KXo-pSUUEIm4FkqSjuurS1/s1600-h/chuck-norris-split-rock%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaALusONwcLahu8uyGvMU8xz2gbr3f383ssvbMxpYCRX5UJSCNkH532MoXiaNYz4TPWAOllwGl1AxKdTmtwWIj0cZnt1drpFLpPhHbIQDd_q-GxlXQZbatj8KXo-pSUUEIm4FkqSjuurS1/s320/chuck-norris-split-rock%5B1%5D.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
While we have zero confirmation that plans for this already-classic-masterpiece even exists (pleasepleaseplease), it is our apoca-sworn duty to speculate on (read: make up) every possible detail. Word from a mildly reliable source says the title will be DARK RANGER. Nice. Original. Like it. And the plot will feature Chuck Norris going fist to sledge-hammer fist with his most vicious nemesis to date...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQnjbey15CijDdWnz01NE7Zk0m0aTFBKumH-c5DEMMoMUwQGoJ2Y7oKYRW3lDMrrnSD87BgkDmXol_etKtXtzYDaHjbdyv-xFYp53Ae6NMAkVYRlqq_PzKIXfmc59fXuO738C_FDnPcN_J/s1600-h/1556622_height370_width560.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQnjbey15CijDdWnz01NE7Zk0m0aTFBKumH-c5DEMMoMUwQGoJ2Y7oKYRW3lDMrrnSD87BgkDmXol_etKtXtzYDaHjbdyv-xFYp53Ae6NMAkVYRlqq_PzKIXfmc59fXuO738C_FDnPcN_J/s320/1556622_height370_width560.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">ZOMBIES. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Real ones. NOT drunken trick-or-treaters.</span> </div><br />
But Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Zombies. When Chuck Norris kills you, you STAY dead. And when zombies try to eat Chuck Norris they choke on his titanium bones. And then he pieces himself back together. Chuck Norris invented undead.<br />
<br />
It looks like some zombies are about to get their shit. Fucked. UP.<br />
<br />
I can only assume that the sequel will show us the most terrifying creature known to man: ZOMBIE CHUCK NORRIS. I imagine that the plot will involve him roundhouse-kicking Satan in the face. Satan will then cry like a little bitch and hand over the Throne of Hell to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris will laugh at him, spit on the Throne, and then go skinny dipping in the River Styx.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiM0MB6Vxv9JA9423WIDlv2z6BlbjWKxR9LcMk3mSkycw-DXiOHtWD7A0MVXcjacPFsnZIdKkDBdaCd0PH94Avwxh4J15dXzF_CHcOODb6wm5baVo0UPFN7SAG9Z1gl-qFTk_2NDf1JzMt/s1600-h/chuck-norris-738528.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiM0MB6Vxv9JA9423WIDlv2z6BlbjWKxR9LcMk3mSkycw-DXiOHtWD7A0MVXcjacPFsnZIdKkDBdaCd0PH94Avwxh4J15dXzF_CHcOODb6wm5baVo0UPFN7SAG9Z1gl-qFTk_2NDf1JzMt/s320/chuck-norris-738528.jpg" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Eternal Nightmares</span> </div><br />
<br />
If DARK RANGER isn't in the works, it SHOULD BE. Comment below to sign our petition. If you don't, Chuck Norris will...well you know.A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-59728635647819284272010-02-04T16:26:00.000-08:002010-02-04T16:40:17.296-08:00How do zombies tweet? With their iPhones! (what? zombies need cell phones too...)- Miss War<div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #f3f3f3; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Happy Birthday, Mr. Romero!!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #f3f3f3; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjANZh0lfZHzEmkvEW7DYwwLHKRFRn82FYVYwcmuQquNy7kiCpR1xvNSgWsa4qmjJd6-2M37ijqD_zY8ey0al7nwufayHk_D1QDJ4Kw69BW__rI7KZ201RBAnQhzOwThesxdlphYog9fOlu/s320/birthdaycake.jpg" width="209" /></div><br />
In honor of visionary director George Romero's 70th birthday, the evil-tastic folks at <a href="http://www.fearnet.com/">FEARnet.com </a>have officially declared today TWEET LIKE A ZOMBIE DAY! We can only imagine this is somewhat like <a href="http://girlsguidetotheapocalypse.blogspot.com/2009/09/avast-ye-tonight-we-celebrate-like.html">Talk Like a Pirate Day</a>, except you only have 140 characters with which to type "Arrrrrrrrrrrg!" <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOhDTorWv7ds43SgRAkRwoJfjdJZ_UV8rZISQp1camNKKYS8zONTDqdD04i6u48OSccb-TY6DsNzujFwXrafSYtAi5TiJGMT-saVVLzHxyWSre564rVgU4WdFrMOczbOhNonvcpZobLlny/s1600-h/smurf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOhDTorWv7ds43SgRAkRwoJfjdJZ_UV8rZISQp1camNKKYS8zONTDqdD04i6u48OSccb-TY6DsNzujFwXrafSYtAi5TiJGMT-saVVLzHxyWSre564rVgU4WdFrMOczbOhNonvcpZobLlny/s200/smurf.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">"Arrrg, braiiins arrrrrg mother smurfer!" Hm. Zombies DO talk like Pirates. And Smurfs.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />
</span></div>Today we remember Romero's great contribution to the apocalypse: The Modern Zombie. Before his masterpiece, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00000K3TO?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00000K3TO">NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00000K3TO" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> , rising from the dead had a VERY different connotation... <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdrZLd5UpVJ4JkVtWR6b8S-CYaaGDHR_1ihwmQi4qftCsCJIBrVSD5SnNmzVg2v_j8zwPsTT4XWrkL0k991CJfBE_6hdZehuKSVLEsXp1gdZSck20-wHbtOxZ2M28T0HXGZxpg5Abx65dK/s1600-h/brains.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdrZLd5UpVJ4JkVtWR6b8S-CYaaGDHR_1ihwmQi4qftCsCJIBrVSD5SnNmzVg2v_j8zwPsTT4XWrkL0k991CJfBE_6hdZehuKSVLEsXp1gdZSck20-wHbtOxZ2M28T0HXGZxpg5Abx65dK/s200/brains.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<br />
But thanks to Romero, today we can enjoy:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyqsRJhUJj0RNrsZtaYpK7WlLA3_bgt5_Bs2gp8yM5hFvyXwzXU10ToyDyyOmghn4TQaXWfQ4MBhtpztep_JcDdws4wn_cp1fu1gInpwcUP7J55QJlKX7mvKGflEeQEeDlPOX6g0HHiNmO/s1600-h/blog_fashion_fix_of_the_week_i_got_wood_t_shirt_from_shaun_of_the_dead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="124" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyqsRJhUJj0RNrsZtaYpK7WlLA3_bgt5_Bs2gp8yM5hFvyXwzXU10ToyDyyOmghn4TQaXWfQ4MBhtpztep_JcDdws4wn_cp1fu1gInpwcUP7J55QJlKX7mvKGflEeQEeDlPOX6g0HHiNmO/s200/blog_fashion_fix_of_the_week_i_got_wood_t_shirt_from_shaun_of_the_dead.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Buddy Zombies</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5g6aZnUnvrZRHu4sKKXiHP_0kb2Ic7I3rMRZ80wUTRmvtD92E7SVOjH5u4uLXu8ELuU995ejVrVfpsuSdGquSZ7H6PZg7FvyDEDAEY1OqiBVuadXN41fJnc2EFQAH076_PVsV4iESTl14/s1600-h/funny-pictures-your-child-watched-too-many-zombie-movies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5g6aZnUnvrZRHu4sKKXiHP_0kb2Ic7I3rMRZ80wUTRmvtD92E7SVOjH5u4uLXu8ELuU995ejVrVfpsuSdGquSZ7H6PZg7FvyDEDAEY1OqiBVuadXN41fJnc2EFQAH076_PVsV4iESTl14/s320/funny-pictures-your-child-watched-too-many-zombie-movies.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Baby Zombies</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEI8rx9g8alxdPBP84vLNojy0dnECSxxqp_WgwvfWjJbrCfmmytJ5KPAy95qKTwM6nzMZdeflAAriI2TDF9s79dxyOgoA3ECipflQh9VwAlhj0B2pmOAlCMKEpS3_XXmiXi_P3bufFlH9V/s1600-h/thriller_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEI8rx9g8alxdPBP84vLNojy0dnECSxxqp_WgwvfWjJbrCfmmytJ5KPAy95qKTwM6nzMZdeflAAriI2TDF9s79dxyOgoA3ECipflQh9VwAlhj0B2pmOAlCMKEpS3_XXmiXi_P3bufFlH9V/s320/thriller_400.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">And Dancing Zombies</div><br />
So head on over to <a href="http://www.fearnet.com/news/b18120_Get_Ready_to_Tweet_Like_a_Zombie.html?intcid=search_all_ed-helms">FEARnet.com</a>, where all day they're paying tribute to the Master of Horror by posting interviews, streaming zombie-esque movies, teaching you how to move like a zombie, and other fun and festive grunt-worthy entertainment!<br />
<br />
But don't forget to first go <a href="http://twitter.com/FourHorsewomen">TWEET</a> like a Zombie!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy7FBZaFmqSN0_UUlHeQemfkNHn9uKsFZMX4-QH-BYDWgruJZ-0SW-sQAB1ukOo1nPlkUZc5eA3CP-BUULIlDtATkaUQnl4o6FrK_v354qpGrtgNHui8lA34AqOqUoHP3uAycA6ayXhahe/s1600-h/twitter_zombie_sticker-p217949205382521996qjcl_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy7FBZaFmqSN0_UUlHeQemfkNHn9uKsFZMX4-QH-BYDWgruJZ-0SW-sQAB1ukOo1nPlkUZc5eA3CP-BUULIlDtATkaUQnl4o6FrK_v354qpGrtgNHui8lA34AqOqUoHP3uAycA6ayXhahe/s200/twitter_zombie_sticker-p217949205382521996qjcl_400.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">ILuvWar is at McBrains w @Zombibrains & @humnsrtasty! NomNomArg!</span></div><br />
<br />
<br />
Braaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnsss!<br />
Miss War<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZksUvz3GAsqBZ1Rc3tFcyAjXP88zG7l_pRotXqAu638AZTgbNPS3rHAmh51PEJqkg17zwFk5zRRHg6sarunqh-22guOtEdPSZhxnPri07gNTyXNThVbFKyKXZhvizqtBymIFlc0-Y3lnu/s1600-h/nightoflivingdead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="136" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZksUvz3GAsqBZ1Rc3tFcyAjXP88zG7l_pRotXqAu638AZTgbNPS3rHAmh51PEJqkg17zwFk5zRRHg6sarunqh-22guOtEdPSZhxnPri07gNTyXNThVbFKyKXZhvizqtBymIFlc0-Y3lnu/s200/nightoflivingdead.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-19562277425442894112010-02-04T13:00:00.000-08:002010-02-04T13:00:33.022-08:00Valentine's Day Gets Our Blood Pumping... - Miss War<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3XnEah8v53XZFASTReoxXVJgumCCDvulSfk3reedSukMDA_Fx-GK6pyrbjdPR3Vbwa_1exXeJQNUixybYT-xRn3lW9dRHo93BYXehFSk2BxfQh3XEkF7sgq4WwHM2xIWQbkuojg8jguDo/s1600-h/cupid-valentines-day_small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3XnEah8v53XZFASTReoxXVJgumCCDvulSfk3reedSukMDA_Fx-GK6pyrbjdPR3Vbwa_1exXeJQNUixybYT-xRn3lW9dRHo93BYXehFSk2BxfQh3XEkF7sgq4WwHM2xIWQbkuojg8jguDo/s320/cupid-valentines-day_small.jpg" /></a></div>...and our bowels moving. Maybe that's just me. <br />
<br />
Check out this sweetness from FML.<br />
<br />
"Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML."<br />
<br />
We beg to differ! That's not an FML situation! That's very sweet and endearing and if any of us had a boy/halfbreed/creature say that to us, we'd get all misty-eyed and maybe pee just a little.<br />
<br />
We will be spending Valentine's Day out and about this year! The four of us girls have plans to catch a viewing of Spinal Tap at Coolidge Corner, and then we're going out to gorge ourselves on Red Velvet cupcakes with blood red frosting from KickAss Cupcakes in Davis. <br />
<br />
How do you intend to spend your Valentine's Day, little zombies? And don't say "hanging by a noose." We don't need the melodrama.A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-6201271218547176152010-01-31T20:26:00.000-08:002010-01-31T20:41:05.404-08:00Favorite LOST Moments!! (Febuary2ndissocloseIcantasteit) - Miss War<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin: 0.1pt 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">******SPOILERS******<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: x-small;">(If you haven’t watched the previous seasons, that is. I’ve got nuthin for Season 6. Even our powers aren't that strong. Sorry.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihMFnH-T7a7gh2qYSx0m1-mfomgkAbQHzvVm1y6igZY4y3YYr2MxKOCYJypMy3skOr8I0N83Dy0n9s468z6-F2ATkIxL9ghKUkQeL25sasMz5i6-MG8dY28WNCBnrVJKqv_bTxwDjIdyU_/s1600-h/lost-supper-Season6.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihMFnH-T7a7gh2qYSx0m1-mfomgkAbQHzvVm1y6igZY4y3YYr2MxKOCYJypMy3skOr8I0N83Dy0n9s468z6-F2ATkIxL9ghKUkQeL25sasMz5i6-MG8dY28WNCBnrVJKqv_bTxwDjIdyU_/s200/lost-supper-Season6.gif" width="200" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The Beginning of the End is near. VERY near. Like two-fucking-days near. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">We Horsewomen have never hidden our love for the amazingrevolutionarybestshowofalltime: LOST. It's insanely apocalyptic -- Time travel, epic battles of good and evil, giant statues, fucking smoke monsters, purple skies, moving islands, and hot doctors, con-men, torturers, and rock stars. Still don't believe that it's got the apoco-chops to rate high on our obsession-meter? Last year, Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) detonated a HYDROGEN bomb. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9q-d6vhb5E">With her BARE hands. </a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">So how do these final days of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fentity%2FLost%2FB001CH30KC%3Fie%3DUTF8%26ref_%3Dsr%255Ftc%255F2%255F0%26qid%3D1264998163%26sr%3D1-2-ent&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957">LOST</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=ur2&o=1" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> signal the end of the [our] world? What do you think we’ve been <a href="http://twitter.com/LOST_BOSS">DOING with ourselves</a> these last 5 years???? And what are we going to DO when it’s all over??? Sure, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fentity%2FMad-Men%2FB001CHR990%3Fie%3DUTF8%26ref_%3Dsr%255Ftc%255F2%255F0%26qid%3D1264997656%26sr%3D1-2-ent&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957">MAD MEN</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=ur2&o=1" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> gives us fodder for discussion with their fancy character flaws and deep and sociological ponderings. But where are the <a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20313460_20339244,00.html">crazy sci-fi theories</a>!!!!? They’re over there at the newest entry in the Fate vs. Destiny war, Flash Forward, but it’s still a young show and we have yet to see if the characters can capture our hearts the way the Losties have. So unless <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fentity%2FBuffy-the-Vampire-Slayer%2FB001CFVB4Q%3Fie%3DUTF8%26ref_%3Dsr%255Ftc%255F2%255F0%26qid%3D1264997901%26sr%3D1-2-ent&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957">God Whedon</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=ur2&o=1" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> manages to get something <a href="http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/television/news/e3ibd4c93af8a3194fa8f32bc3b11c6126a">NEW</a> on the air, and FAST, we’re pretty certain the world as we know it will probably end when Jack opens his eyes for the very last time this May.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To celebrate this epic event, I want to relive some of my FAVORITE MOMENTS OF LOST:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">(I tried to do just 10… I really REALLY tried…)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">11. Hurley explains the island to his mother. </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: x-small;">(5.2 “The Lie”)</span><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Wracked with immeasurable guilt over leaving and lying, Hurley finally breaks down and confesses the truth. In doing so, he took on the role of a crazed LOST fan trying to explain to their non-fan friends what this show is about. It was an inside joke that had us all laughing and crying and nodding our heads in solidarity with Hurley. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeA5kh7tCPIAnGvwzv8kMWH6tpshTBHdKo5JEcowfkfc9flkg1ZeWzFbg3D1LTcPh8Z6eU27niX2ZBqZrmm5Ws2aU760agrHoGPBopYLgqbR5MP0vST8zOAt6YhqsJwMeC88s8UkDIcxbg/s1600-h/hurley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeA5kh7tCPIAnGvwzv8kMWH6tpshTBHdKo5JEcowfkfc9flkg1ZeWzFbg3D1LTcPh8Z6eU27niX2ZBqZrmm5Ws2aU760agrHoGPBopYLgqbR5MP0vST8zOAt6YhqsJwMeC88s8UkDIcxbg/s200/hurley.jpg" width="200" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I feel your pain, dude.</span> </div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>10. Charlie shares his imaginary peanut butter with Claire. <span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: x-small;">(1.8 “Confidence Man”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Because despite quantum physics and complicated power wars, this show is about the characters and their relationships. And nowhere is that more apparent than in this adorable and tragic psudofamily and their quest for normalcy via…peanut butter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPAVnZryaMlZyjJ5PkYdG43A1aiF6FvPx12V_VP4s2Ca778RDjfktUoMlnpbFScdJnGMOrA9BkiLsfv8B2DbmL3gUK4mxu7LR_NTEo53LJFi6J5q2FSf-A3cM5gr-q8nFHabGfr8T-2YSA/s1600-h/peanut+butter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPAVnZryaMlZyjJ5PkYdG43A1aiF6FvPx12V_VP4s2Ca778RDjfktUoMlnpbFScdJnGMOrA9BkiLsfv8B2DbmL3gUK4mxu7LR_NTEo53LJFi6J5q2FSf-A3cM5gr-q8nFHabGfr8T-2YSA/s200/peanut+butter.jpg" width="200" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">He's a rock star AND invents sweet treats. Sexy!</span> </div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b> 9. Locke teaches Walt Backgammon</b>. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(1.2 “Pilot”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Because they had the balls to give away the store in the first two hours of the series. God damn they’re good.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmdfZ_D-cAUlwgWvSAyNtAwUgJ19OjKTqhql0beInjN9KBu9t4DuoDXGVlR33BSMht-b8QcXi4sgTOx8QXATCyrYJuWxFbyU1Rc7KZFjOfFsfBBDWdPxr-Em0L8Ooy43BmS33RVKbBqnR/s1600-h/lost_pilot_b276.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmdfZ_D-cAUlwgWvSAyNtAwUgJ19OjKTqhql0beInjN9KBu9t4DuoDXGVlR33BSMht-b8QcXi4sgTOx8QXATCyrYJuWxFbyU1Rc7KZFjOfFsfBBDWdPxr-Em0L8Ooy43BmS33RVKbBqnR/s200/lost_pilot_b276.jpg" width="200" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">"Two players. Two sides. One is light, one is dark."</span> </div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>8. Sawyer lies about meds to get a kiss from Kate.<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: x-small;">(1.8 “Confidence Man”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">God I love this episode. And I love me some Sawyer/Kate/Jack love triangle. There are so many great moments between these three – “Caught in a net,” “Sex in a Cage,” Jack and Kate get engaged, Sawyer and Juliet play house… but the fact that Sawyer endured being "torture by a damn spinal surgeon and a genuine Iraqi solder" makes this the hottest kiss of all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNHmh4Sb2lo0eqFnZ1kZR8WjTOWgqgYkT3ykzdzGhocjAMrgYfrGWKevBbJnolGRkvwUT4dkXcYn62AVmLmdeX0DAqup_sWLCX0mN-_QUV7E-TmqvH4ThyphenhyphenXsl0j97SriJEqxTriUT9WGW2/s1600-h/kate_kiss_sawyer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="110" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNHmh4Sb2lo0eqFnZ1kZR8WjTOWgqgYkT3ykzdzGhocjAMrgYfrGWKevBbJnolGRkvwUT4dkXcYn62AVmLmdeX0DAqup_sWLCX0mN-_QUV7E-TmqvH4ThyphenhyphenXsl0j97SriJEqxTriUT9WGW2/s200/kate_kiss_sawyer.jpg" width="200" /></a></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Oh, Sawyer. Who wouldn't want to be tied to a tree in a Jungle of Mystery with you?</span></b></span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>7. “We’re gonna have to take the boy.” </b> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(1.24 “Exodus, Part 2”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">For those of us who watched from the beginning, this moment was an evil twisting knife to the gut right before THREE WHOLE MONTHS of LOST radio silence. (Remember when the hiatuses were only three months?) A jaw-dropping moment that made us realize that LOST would mess with us for whole seasons at a time. And we only loved it more for that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7jaJ65yjX4D9_LlHH3GvMZQ3QPv-7_jIWvFIvaPm3CwC6p3AwnqYl93RM08vn1CBIrgqgnh_s2FtdIjjxm0cxDAS-ZDK-qlff0cmQ2M4zV1DbMcqDdAw9PFF-hcvtXsuf30vRb4fGt-AY/s1600-h/S1E25_Walt_Kidknapped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="110" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7jaJ65yjX4D9_LlHH3GvMZQ3QPv-7_jIWvFIvaPm3CwC6p3AwnqYl93RM08vn1CBIrgqgnh_s2FtdIjjxm0cxDAS-ZDK-qlff0cmQ2M4zV1DbMcqDdAw9PFF-hcvtXsuf30vRb4fGt-AY/s200/S1E25_Walt_Kidknapped.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Tricksy little Lost writers, making us think "the boy" was Aaron. * slaps forehead. Repeatedly. *</span></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>6. Keamy kills Alex.</b><span style="font-size: x-small;"> (4.9 “The Shape of Things to Come”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">This is when LOST went from jaw-dropping to gut-dropping. “They’re not going to do go there. Nah, that’s not going to hap…. Wait. He’s going to do it. Oh my god he’s actually going to shot –“ BANG! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCNjRRpHj0hGouU7-o_JYF9_IbK7jJPgY22xCZeQpjYq8Lc6Igq5E8E862CqpJPJqBp7QynxM_S13OaVzvS0FZTQjWXAfOtqPXd7KV6R_JTMEwB9V806QURhgw7-7YjVHxm-F6nekBxwQ3/s1600-h/alex.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCNjRRpHj0hGouU7-o_JYF9_IbK7jJPgY22xCZeQpjYq8Lc6Igq5E8E862CqpJPJqBp7QynxM_S13OaVzvS0FZTQjWXAfOtqPXd7KV6R_JTMEwB9V806QURhgw7-7YjVHxm-F6nekBxwQ3/s200/alex.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>5. The reveal of Jacob’s Cabin (and the “Ghost in the Chair”).</b> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(3.20 “The Man Behind The Curtain”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The moment a show that was twisty, mysterious, with a sci-fi edge finally took the plunge into the supernatural. And we followed it like freaking Alice through the rabbit hole.</span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyBBsmTUck2ZJvkwUt5Hz67aZv2zkPra-K5RdauVrdG9hEET0aR3U0zQSuvDyyHgsk9djbGyip3xL7CMaglRohZNp6saqe4P2yL_sRSvuJqqhaELVwBZ_rQs8lPCv-mBVp0SE7tWQ4HM0m/s1600-h/LockemeetChristian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyBBsmTUck2ZJvkwUt5Hz67aZv2zkPra-K5RdauVrdG9hEET0aR3U0zQSuvDyyHgsk9djbGyip3xL7CMaglRohZNp6saqe4P2yL_sRSvuJqqhaELVwBZ_rQs8lPCv-mBVp0SE7tWQ4HM0m/s200/LockemeetChristian.jpg" width="200" /></a></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b> </b><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Pay no attention to the Man behind the Curtain. Or actually pay lots of attention. In fact, analyze the shit out of that screencap.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span><b> </b></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>4. Holy Shit! Locke was in a wheelchair! </b><span style="font-size: x-small;">(1.4 “Walkabout")</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The first true “WTF!?” moment of the series. We knew things were a little funky before this episode (Smoky, The Numbers), but this moment officially locked (pun intended) this series in as the most daring, unique show on television. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LbPpPhQRR6JrJ__rOKWUSF8X4bmke_nlcudtbXTyqGeIVCs1Jis6TiiXvHl8mOMRhTajIQkStc4yJ3owyNs8Dn6Px_WE9LxMmYKP7eKuiA5ZlI9z2nOaBtuUmetEZhyphenhyphenMjTr0eqsrzDTz/s1600-h/locke-wheelchair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="116" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LbPpPhQRR6JrJ__rOKWUSF8X4bmke_nlcudtbXTyqGeIVCs1Jis6TiiXvHl8mOMRhTajIQkStc4yJ3owyNs8Dn6Px_WE9LxMmYKP7eKuiA5ZlI9z2nOaBtuUmetEZhyphenhyphenMjTr0eqsrzDTz/s200/locke-wheelchair.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Locke gets super pissed off when you try to tell him what he can't do. You know, like walk...or come back from the dead... </span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>3. Desmond and Penny’s Christmas Eve Phone Call. </b><span style="font-size: x-small;">(4.5 “The Constant”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">If you weren’t crying like a little bitch during this quick-cut emotional scene, you have no soul. No. For real. You may want to have that checked out. Desmond and Penny’s love affair is the tender heart of LOST, and what could possibly be more romantic than a phone call that unites these lovers through space AND time? And on Christmas! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj70vXNqz0w3a6Xtp5LR9Mo3lPvhSP3_QAYgZA6wRBqyCkoWRZe65_TKDuSgSbItNo2rA1IO8S9bhEHW_jcyxLyGTKZFbYgYz3KFOnhsCtfPhoU_6zEhyVtcRNGGjQ8NhXGISXazfKCVf3A/s1600-h/tumblr_kv68dyhRtW1qzll9fo1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj70vXNqz0w3a6Xtp5LR9Mo3lPvhSP3_QAYgZA6wRBqyCkoWRZe65_TKDuSgSbItNo2rA1IO8S9bhEHW_jcyxLyGTKZFbYgYz3KFOnhsCtfPhoU_6zEhyVtcRNGGjQ8NhXGISXazfKCVf3A/s200/tumblr_kv68dyhRtW1qzll9fo1_400.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Like a baby...weeping...sobbing...jingle bells...</span></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>2. Ben kills Locke.</b> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(5.7 “The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Quite possibly the most brilliantly acted scene in LOST (dare I say on television?). Locke's utter desperation. Ben’s ultimate manipulation. Chills.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzdLI2yrn7Ef5IDObQnMFeTttnrejs0Y4BLZ6LLe1Lp-qnkSkqLOYEBa0FjZNRsObaJhO4fkjXZyAuvHtCr_fF-76cRjE_D_WNjcyhKPLfP7DkBW1ySzRCHuLR2ZNxQ8oRPAr8N1SNjSm4/s1600-h/507-locke-ben-011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzdLI2yrn7Ef5IDObQnMFeTttnrejs0Y4BLZ6LLe1Lp-qnkSkqLOYEBa0FjZNRsObaJhO4fkjXZyAuvHtCr_fF-76cRjE_D_WNjcyhKPLfP7DkBW1ySzRCHuLR2ZNxQ8oRPAr8N1SNjSm4/s200/507-locke-ben-011.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Ben finally figures out something that Locke can't do. Breathe.</span></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>1. “Not Penny’s Boat.” </b><span style="font-size: x-small;"> (3.22 “Through the Looking Glass”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I’m sorry… I can’t even discuss this one… the computer is shorting out... from my tears. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhffpnpPlKrgqaP9m-0X5_kFsGvySKswy4OfoR1o5cic8mLF-tg08mEzebAkzLoIefO1gKG63pufM5JHAcAkWXbtVxFvVcmJG1B4SReO00_OSRVKUu8X-OVZ5Uz-K22EgoBNJx8gKmvAX_-/s1600-h/265_not_pennys_boat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhffpnpPlKrgqaP9m-0X5_kFsGvySKswy4OfoR1o5cic8mLF-tg08mEzebAkzLoIefO1gKG63pufM5JHAcAkWXbtVxFvVcmJG1B4SReO00_OSRVKUu8X-OVZ5Uz-K22EgoBNJx8gKmvAX_-/s200/265_not_pennys_boat.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Hero.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> So what are your favorite moments? Share them below and we can discuss ad nauseam and <a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/video/final_season_of_lost_promises_to">annoy the rest of the world. </a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee;"><br />
</div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-53853057603850570412010-01-29T16:34:00.000-08:002010-01-29T16:35:02.220-08:00The Rename the iTampon Game - Miss Conquest<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGKegrl1ufVcguilrhM6ozla_xodRDqMuNUpb-8Qn1VOPrWp7L5SNespEfdZ3AVXiE_-fb9VxFoSDV2YfwoUaJ57qy9H7oWTDWgNrSY3UN8wwXgP0GSLdzmGlf6UtNcpn5be9QIANrxEn5/s1600-h/article-0-080E80B3000005DC-379_468x342.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGKegrl1ufVcguilrhM6ozla_xodRDqMuNUpb-8Qn1VOPrWp7L5SNespEfdZ3AVXiE_-fb9VxFoSDV2YfwoUaJ57qy9H7oWTDWgNrSY3UN8wwXgP0GSLdzmGlf6UtNcpn5be9QIANrxEn5/s200/article-0-080E80B3000005DC-379_468x342.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Let's face it. We've stopped counting Apple Announcements as signs of the apocalypse. They happen every few months and the world never ends as a result, no matter how much we want it to. (Remember when we all thought <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002BSHXJA?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B002BSHXJA">The Beatles</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B002BSHXJA" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> were coming to iTunes? <a href="http://girlsguidetotheapocalypse.blogspot.com/2009/09/no-beatles-in-your-apples-miss-conquest.html">Dirty dirty lies!</a>)<br />
<br />
So this week, you may have been hiding in your bomb shelter and missed the "revolutionary" announcement of the new <a href="http://www.kidglue.com/2010/01/27/apple-announcement-is-the-tablet-coming/">Apple Tablet</a>. Oh wait. I'm sorry. That's NOT the well thought out, aptly descriptive name.<br />
<br />
It's the iPad.<br />
<br />
Now. I won't spend this entire post making feminine product jokes. I will instead let this now-ubiquitous 2005 <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK2drIylnDw">Mad TV sketch</a> do the talking for me.<br />
<br />
But I think we're all in agreement that the spanking new <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00365F6LE?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00365F6LE">iPad</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00365F6LE" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> is in a little bit of a marketing (if not product development) fail zone right now. So I would like to propose a few alternative names for this sparkly new toy:<br />
<br />
<b>iCantmultitask. </b>Disappointment in a box. <br />
<br />
<b>iKilljournalists. </b>What be this "newspaper" thingy you speak of?<br />
<br />
<b>iSavenot</b>. The <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000JKN54E?ie=UTF8&tag=amodgirsguito-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000JKN54E">Moleskine</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=amodgirsguito-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000JKN54E" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> Journal company rejoices! Pens and Paper everywhere do a happy dance!<br />
<br />
<b>iSlate. </b>No joke. This is really just what it should have been called.<br />
<br />
<b>iTab.</b> Or this. (See how easy this is?)<br />
<br />
<b>iWin! </b>Until the Kindle can go online, at least.<br />
<br />
<b>iMaxi. </b>Get it? Get it? Sounds like iMac...<br />
<br />
<b>iHeavyFlow. </b>Because I'm a liar and have the maturity of an 11-year-old boy.<br />
<br />
So what do YOU think it should have been named? I'm sure between the six of us we can come up with something far more catchy. And then we'll petition Apple to change it... and take over the world... <br />
<br />
MuahahahahahahahahhaaA Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-88872647750889358312010-01-21T20:33:00.000-08:002010-01-21T20:33:58.714-08:00End of Days - How Will You Spend Them? - Miss WarHola Bitches. Let's get serious.<br />
<br />
Seriously serious.<br />
<br />
Ok, the girls and I have been a bit lazy as of recent. This laziness is reflecting in both my volume of blog posts and my ever growing thighs. (Eff you, Treadmill. I'll burn my cals with my new <a href="http://thewandcompany.com/Buying.html">badass Universal Remote</a> until this winter of discontent is over.)<br />
<br />
So, we were imbibing the other night when Miss Death suggested from underneath her lampshade that we play the End of Days Game. <br />
<br />
"What BE this End of Days Game," you ask? Oh, it's no different from the "Stranded on an Island" game, except that you have no chance of rescue. So, what favorite movie, book and song will you carry into the Great Abyss? Well, that's up to you (alcohol helps this game along nicely.)<br />
<br />
See if you can top my answers (and don't get all "Apocalypse Now, Bible and Bach" on me. Be creative.)<br />
<br />
Movie? <a href="http://www.lebowskifest.com/">The Big Lebowski.</a> Why? Because you can literally watch this movie a millions times and keep finding new and interesting angles. We could analyze characters for YEARS! I mean, the Dude aside, what about Donnie? What does his death mean to the other characters? What is his back story? And Maude! And Bunny! And the Nihilists? So much to watch and discuss. (Admit it, you agree with this choice. It's a clear winner.)<br />
<br />
Book? <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Calvin-Hobbes-v/dp/0740748475/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264134171&sr=8-1">The Complete Calvin and Hobbes Collection</a>. Why? See above. I know what you're saying. "What a Nerd!" But I believe in the power of this anthology for the same reason that I geek out over TBL above. You can literally read and disect every strip of that comic. It's written for an intelligent audience who still think like kids. Ah...le sigh. How I love these books. <br />
<br />
Song? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCX3ZNDZAwY">The Beatles. Imagine.</a> No further explanation needed. <br />
<br />
So, where do you stand? What are your top three answers?A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-43180050939808090192009-12-31T17:56:00.000-08:002010-01-01T18:27:12.464-08:00Top Ten Apocalyptic Movies of the 00's - Miss War<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>It's been quite the decade-o-disaster at the multiplex my friends. We Horsewomen do so enjoy a good apocalypse, even if Hollywood is often wrong about, well just about ever detail of the apocalypse. So we thought we'd show our appreciation for our favorite homages to our work at this, the close of the first decade of the 21rst Century:<br />
<br />
First... the quality entries...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mrosen.com/public.assets/movies/28%20Days%20Later.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.mrosen.com/public.assets/movies/28%20Days%20Later.jpg" width="134" /></a><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">28 Days Later - An indie-drama masquerading as a zombie flick, Danny Boyle's entry into the zombie-pocalypse genre is terrifying on a lot of levels. Plus, Cilian Murphy is hot, even without hair. Need we say more?<br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://screenrant.com/images/wall-e-poster3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://screenrant.com/images/wall-e-poster3.jpg" width="135" /></a><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Wall-E - An apocalyptic-kids movie! Say what you will about Pixar - they've got balls of steal. Who would have thought that you could start indoctrinating the populous to look forward to the joys of the apocalypse at such a young age? Pixar has managed it though. According to them the apocalypse features the cutest robots EVER and a lot of problems that can mostly be solved by eating right and exercising. Oh, and a tensy garbage problem. We Horsewomen approve of exercising, eating right AND recycling, so we call this one a winner.<br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<a href="http://thehealingtouch.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/children_of_men_ver3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://thehealingtouch.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/children_of_men_ver3.jpg" width="134" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
Children of Men - A dreary, dreary sort of apocalypse, but a pretty damn good movie. We'll appreciate it as art and be happy that our apocalypse isn't NEARLY this grungy. Famine would never stand for it.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp-content/images/sunshineposterbig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp-content/images/sunshineposterbig.jpg" width="135" /></a><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Sunshine - Danny Boyle explores a different, quieter sort of apocalypse in this psychological thriller about the crew sent to try to reignite the sun before the Earth freezes. The crew might self destruct - but will they be in time to prevent the death of our sun? If you've seen it, you know, if you haven't... that's not my fault, is it?<br />
</div><div><br />
</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0006A9FKA.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0006A9FKA.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg" width="140" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Shawn of the Dead - Putting the ha-ha in zombie attacks, this British slice of hilarity changed the name of the game when it came to horror. With a healthy dose of really great action, big scares and a few true heart strings playing moments this is a mish-mash that just works.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://blog.beliefnet.com/moviemom/cloverfield-1-18-08-poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://blog.beliefnet.com/moviemom/cloverfield-1-18-08-poster.jpg" width="172" /></a><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Cloverfield - This little movie would merit a place on this even if it's only accomplishment was being the only "hand-held" movie that hasn't made me physically ill. I know, I know, harbinger of doom, bringer of peril, destroyer of worlds and what's my kryptonite? Shaky camera work. I'm ashamed of myself too. Beyond not being sea-sick inducing, this charming little, never quite see the monster movie manages to be fun, effective and entertaining. The cast might be a little on the mediocre side, but it kept this Horsewoman happy for a couple of hours, so we'll accept it into our visions of the apocalypse hall of fame.<br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">And for the cheese ball half of the list....<br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://mypastspeaks.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/land_of_the_dead_on_dvd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://mypastspeaks.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/land_of_the_dead_on_dvd.jpg" width="143" /></a><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Land of the Dead - George A. Romero, king of the zombie movies, investigates what might happen after a zombie apocalypse in this sequel. Simon Baker is hot, the zombie hookers are gross and life after the end of it all seems like good, if a little dirty, fun. A girl can always count on Mr. Romero for a good time!<br />
</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.rubinville.com/dailydave/uploaded_images/day%20after%20tomorrow-765950.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://www.rubinville.com/dailydave/uploaded_images/day%20after%20tomorrow-765950.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The Day After Tomorrow - Mr. Emmerich took two stabs at the apoca-genre this decade, but we're just going to pretend that The Day After Tomorrow stands alone as a representative of his work because that other movie (you know the one I'm talking about, starts with 20, ends with 12) is TERRIBLE. Is this the best of his work? No. Is this the best apocalypse movie he's ever made? No. But no list of apocalyptic movies can be complete without an entry from Mr. Emmerich, so we've made room on the list.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://hhaka.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/i_am_legend_ver41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://hhaka.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/i_am_legend_ver41.jpg" width="135" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I Am Legend - And in the category of movies that should have been better... We like to watch this movie for the movie it was before it was re-written via post-shoot editing. Do you REALLY think you've convinced us that the zombie king is willing to chase his girl out into the sunlight because he's becoming LESS human? Really? But, post-focus group re-editing or not, it stars Mr. Will Smith, our number one action hero with whom to survive an apocalypse, so it belongs on our list!<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://mypastspeaks.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/land_of_the_dead_on_dvd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://24hourstomidnight.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/battlefield_earth_ver1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://24hourstomidnight.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/battlefield_earth_ver1.jpg" width="134" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Battlefield Earth - Last but certainly not least, the WORST apocalypse movie, perhaps ever. This gem goes so far beyond bad that it is kind of a fabulous apocalypse in itself. The fact that's it's based on a religious text? Well, just icing on the cake.<br />
<br />
That's the decade in apocali looks like ladies and gentleman. Go forth and be merry, for the end is, as always, nigh.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></span></span><br />
<div><br />
</div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-51773692808847939272009-12-31T10:50:00.001-08:002009-12-31T11:23:25.004-08:00Get out 2009! And NEVER come back! - 4HW<div style="font-family: inherit;"><meta content="" name="Title"></meta> <meta content="" name="Keywords"></meta> <meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta> <meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta> <meta content="Microsoft Word 2008" name="Generator"></meta> <meta content="Microsoft Word 2008" name="Originator"></meta> <link href="file://localhost/Users/danahorgan/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0clip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link> <style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page Section1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.Section1
{page:Section1;}
-->
</style> <br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3Pw3SbLgBSfHcXc1nwvTXUVdHSBDy9EIH7YPBoEf8hHf4J68Nj1BN7_guxa2o_bUsHog0-YIddjAnK3iHKIzhHWauzDwPnlBgZ7by9JxTH-qkm5FOaIvWHPN15oO6htg8yC90eeiM0-iJ/s1600-h/happynewyear-2000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3Pw3SbLgBSfHcXc1nwvTXUVdHSBDy9EIH7YPBoEf8hHf4J68Nj1BN7_guxa2o_bUsHog0-YIddjAnK3iHKIzhHWauzDwPnlBgZ7by9JxTH-qkm5FOaIvWHPN15oO6htg8yC90eeiM0-iJ/s200/happynewyear-2000.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">HAPPY NEW YEAR! <br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Ok. So here’s the deal. December was a busy month for the Four Horsewomen. Yes, I know, “It’s a busy month for everyone.” But it’s particularly busy for us. It involves certain…rituals…and preparations. Traditionally, December is a VERY important month in the Apocalypse (hint hint). I mean, first there was that whole <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1236880/UFO-hovers-Red-Square-Moscow.html">UFO over the Kremlin</a> incident. <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2009/sep/27/nation/na-python27">African pythons</a> decided to make Florida their new home (hey – who knew African pythons were retired New Yorkers?). <a href="http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/12/reese-witherspoon-and-jake-gyllenhaal-break-up/">Jake Gyllenhaal</a> didn’t keep up his end of our Apocalyptic Bargain. And let’s not forget the <a href="http://www.wheretostay.com/caribbean/stlucia/property-223-photos-Almond_Smugglers_Cove.html"></a><a href="http://www.wheretostay.com/caribbean/stlucia/property-223-photos-Almond_Smugglers_Cove.html">A</a>nnual Horsewomen Holiday Retreat. (Yes, that’s right. We’ll admit it. We slacked off on our duties to go spend a few weeks in St. Lucia. What? You didn’t spend a week or two knocking back eggnogs with your nearest and dearest in your family hovels? We Horsewomen just have different priorities, that’s all. And Miss Conquest LOVES her <a href="http://www.after5catalog.com/cocktailblog/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/rum-sign.jpg">rum</a>.) <br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But just because we’re complete and total slackers doesn’t mean we don’t want jump on the <a href="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/juno/news/1861944/rts_best_of_the_decade">Best of the Decade bandwagon</a> as we happily kick 2009 out the window (good riddance!) and make way for 2010. After all, the Aughts were nothing if not Apocalyptic. (The tanking economy won 500 points for Gryffindor alone.) <br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So check back often as we look at some of the best <a href="http://stylefrizz.com/200910/dennis-rodman-goes-gaga-pink-on-russel-simmons-catwalk/">Apocalyptic Fashion Disasters</a>, <a href="http://marriage.about.com/od/entertainmen1/p/tomcruise.htm">Apocalyptic Celebrity Couples</a>, movies, books and songs of the decade, and tune in to find out who we name as THE Honorary Horsewomen of the decade!<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><br />
A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-72868117723636703092009-12-15T06:46:00.000-08:002009-12-15T06:46:37.562-08:00Copenhagen in a Nutshell of CO2 - Miss Death<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS9EL2jgTZlcBlLycG8MPsqSFevuIuIjPmPmv9EW5tM0LjnYOSugzmQoKJMQT-_g-DhCxA7-HyhVQNv8OGo2R4QWW7ITP_SgMcyzIH91uT_1YhcLYDwXnnshjbNFAtEvZUc2R8gzVMIqUC/s1600-h/55720250vi4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS9EL2jgTZlcBlLycG8MPsqSFevuIuIjPmPmv9EW5tM0LjnYOSugzmQoKJMQT-_g-DhCxA7-HyhVQNv8OGo2R4QWW7ITP_SgMcyzIH91uT_1YhcLYDwXnnshjbNFAtEvZUc2R8gzVMIqUC/s320/55720250vi4.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>I realize that I spend the majority of my time covering fashion and celebs, but I do have a brain inside this perfectly manicured skull. And from time to time, I like to use it. So today's recap will be a quick overview of the<a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8413267.stm"> Copenhagen Conference</a> on Global and Climate Change. Sounds fun, right? Stay with me....<br />
<br />
In 2012, the <a href="http://unfccc.int/kyoto_protocol/items/2830.php">Kyoto Protocal</a> will expire. The Kyoto Protocol was put in place to create "binding limits" on the amount of CO2 that a country can emit. (Eh hem...that includes you, China.) So, in short, once the Kyoto Protocol expires, without a new protocol in place to stop countries from going hog wild and producing all the CO2 emissions they like, you are all screwed.<br />
<br />
Not me. I'm already dead. It's sort of my thing.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1nqAtyNuG2S51O6fInqIO866q0vZldSswzSA6aWQaCnw7RWnuT7jBAX1NVcba9jNQe_gExX1wROnpXNCi1QWxLxpsiyB0woEMt9fYmI7a6KiHpbUaRJUupW1Q_D2D4KYRUoIORs3pV3HJ/s1600-h/Copenhagen-summit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1nqAtyNuG2S51O6fInqIO866q0vZldSswzSA6aWQaCnw7RWnuT7jBAX1NVcba9jNQe_gExX1wROnpXNCi1QWxLxpsiyB0woEMt9fYmI7a6KiHpbUaRJUupW1Q_D2D4KYRUoIORs3pV3HJ/s320/Copenhagen-summit.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Government reps from 170 countries will meet to duke it out over the new standards for carbon emissions. Sounds great, right? Except for that fact that this years Copehagen Summit will produce the largest carbon footprint of any summit to date.<br />
<br />
Between travel, work and flights this summit will produce 46,200 tonnes of carbon emissions. That is "enough to fill 10,000 swimming pools" and is equivalent to the same amount produced by 2,600 Americans IN A YEAR. (Run away, <a href="http://www.fupenguin.com/search?q=penguin">little penguin</a>! Run!)<br />
<br />
1 step forward, 2 steps back. It's a deadly waltz we dance. But who am I to complain. Business for me is booming and the outlook on my industry is high. So keep up the great work, Copenhagen. We'll be headed for the next apocalypse in no time!<br />
<br />
Signing off for now darlings! (No worries, I'll be back with more updates on pretty, frilly, sparkley things next time.) <br />
<br />
I'll get off my high horse for now. (<a href="http://media.photobucket.com/image/my%20little%20pony/comptrollercomptroller/MY_little_pony.jpg">Her name is Shiela</a>.)A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-69147938411939784122009-12-07T16:56:00.000-08:002009-12-07T16:58:55.049-08:00Apocalyptic Website of the Week: There, I Fixed It! - Miss Famine<div style="color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">We’ve had many <a href="http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2009/11/28/box-office-twilight-new-moon/">signs of the Apocalypse</a> lately. There are lots of <a href="http://glamcam.glamour.com/">terrible and horrible things</a> that we need to warn you about - things that are trying their darndest to usher in the End of Days. So many things in fact, that we’ve been neglecting our OTHER duties – helping you, teaching you, <i>guiding</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> you through this crazy apocalyptic wave. (It’s right there in the title, folks!)</span></span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">That’s why I’d like to bring this<a href="http://thereifixedit.com/"> FANTASTIC WEBSITE</a> to your attention today. Our resources are sometimes limited here in Armageddon, and because of that, we sometimes have to get a little MacGyver-y. (NOT the same as getting <a href="http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/484/74/sarahpalin_200908_477x600_7.0.0.0x0.400x504.jpeg">Maverick-y</a>, FYI.) And this website has it all. Helpful tips with a hilarious edge. Fix your problems AND laugh them off at the same time! <br />
</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://thereifixedit.com/">Thereifixedit.com</a> is practically a how-to guide for <a href="http://thereifixedit.com/2009/12/05/honey-when-i-said-trim-to-make-it-fit-i-meant-the-tree/">household problems</a>. What DO you do when you just can’t find a wrench to save your life? (No. Seriously. <b>Save your life.</b> The other day my faucet started leaking… but it wasn’t just water… there were blood-sucking alien leeches IN the water… I needed a wrench. STAT.).</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">So just HOW does <a href="http://thereifixedit.com/">Thereifixedit.com</a> solve all of your pesky problems....?</span></span><br />
<span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Say I used everything - including the kitchen sink - to barricade my hovel during a zombie attack. Now what in Hades do I use for a sink?!?!</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf-G2NERmpaDYNWZvewhrbIJhQI1nyGmnmOQshL72I0Gp7w_G7PgaEeh4AItmqNGjwVikjJJJquvkjhjCkJ7Elhr0-nqxZlA1imXFo35IJyjSkr4HAPOYbcqCUK3Qn96jhsE70cPQFvfPO/s1600-h/129043178640238666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf-G2NERmpaDYNWZvewhrbIJhQI1nyGmnmOQshL72I0Gp7w_G7PgaEeh4AItmqNGjwVikjJJJquvkjhjCkJ7Elhr0-nqxZlA1imXFo35IJyjSkr4HAPOYbcqCUK3Qn96jhsE70cPQFvfPO/s200/129043178640238666.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: xx-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: xx-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif;">Oh. That.</span></span><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I’m having a party, but last week I used my silver bottle opener to take out a <a href="http://www.examiner.com/x-29730-Fanboys-Examiner%7Ey2009m12d7-Taylor-Lautner-to-star-in-Paramounts-Max-Steel">frisky werewolf</a>. Now how do I serve drinks?</span></span><br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIxWohUOdZndPXuDsDwu_whr8vQoMYIzrc-Etuk1dc2y0rmOhaEx7FkrN9YuayYjN_fTPXUa_FMTmwu33W5vnCbu_u-tyx8s-MGS7sCy3ctxFuymPzmBFxcJ_mqFKvnWIxIYhsA6Q9L77D/s1600-h/129040112182573077.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIxWohUOdZndPXuDsDwu_whr8vQoMYIzrc-Etuk1dc2y0rmOhaEx7FkrN9YuayYjN_fTPXUa_FMTmwu33W5vnCbu_u-tyx8s-MGS7sCy3ctxFuymPzmBFxcJ_mqFKvnWIxIYhsA6Q9L77D/s200/129040112182573077.jpg" /></a><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: xx-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif;">Genius!</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I need to make a quick getaway from a tidal wave that’s about to wash away my hovel… But as luck would have it, I have a flat tire!!! WHAT DO I DO!?!</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn-LuTGAOU-xwJief8ABvENxY-sTZlgPKe72TgujfbowohbVHi9mmAforS_46dluWMqTiQEBVuFGq6MkA7I9rSH5SQju7jmZv-OILMMGo4Eo8dytTAswSKYC0TOoz7ZsczXZukveGstPVr/s1600-h/129038502820992947.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn-LuTGAOU-xwJief8ABvENxY-sTZlgPKe72TgujfbowohbVHi9mmAforS_46dluWMqTiQEBVuFGq6MkA7I9rSH5SQju7jmZv-OILMMGo4Eo8dytTAswSKYC0TOoz7ZsczXZukveGstPVr/s200/129038502820992947.jpg" /></a><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: xx-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif;">Luckily, there are children </span></span><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: xx-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif;">near by </span></span><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: xx-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif;">playing in a park. And I have no moral qualms about stealing toys from children at all whatsoever.<br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">My kids are all crazy messed up in the future and I need to get use the Time Machine ASAP to stop them from effing everything up (even though this premise makes no sense in terms of urgency or stakes), but the Zombies stole all of my Plutonium!!! How the heck do I make my Time Machine fly??</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWkfO5LRss1I2ey8417PFGp_O_D4ARLWQ1uWnZ23YAIhpulC1eKTGfRhjAS3rm7wJS7VLa_EB8FvbBthl0wcRDMQCCmIYiOkrsf3EhmXttwWfdSmimtct4Qa9VhpeRz8I5jJOOLfIj5bHI/s1600-h/129017399715012637.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWkfO5LRss1I2ey8417PFGp_O_D4ARLWQ1uWnZ23YAIhpulC1eKTGfRhjAS3rm7wJS7VLa_EB8FvbBthl0wcRDMQCCmIYiOkrsf3EhmXttwWfdSmimtct4Qa9VhpeRz8I5jJOOLfIj5bHI/s200/129017399715012637.jpg" /></a><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: xx-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif;">“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t NEED roads…” Just corn.<br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #f3f3f3; margin: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And those are just a few of the handy tips from <a href="http://thereifixedit.com/" target="_blank">thereifixedit.com</a>. This site is like the <a href="http://www.bobvila.com/HowTo_Library/">Bob Villa</a> of the Apocalypse! Visit today!</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">*All photos are from the super handy, and super hilarious thereifixedit.com blog. </span><br />
</span></span><br />
</div><div style="color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span></span><br />
</div>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-28998581259268680792009-12-03T08:00:00.000-08:002009-12-03T08:00:28.249-08:00Human v. Zombie: People, this is NOT a game! -Miss ConquestWhat is this bullshit? Have we not spread the warnings? Have you not seen what happens when you toy with the undead? Clearly no one is taking this seriously. (hangs head in frustration) (withered sigh)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLkO5AjZB-DgYcp9JRWAmhyUfqV9Sre9Z7zhVf-DkSzSvSJlZP4Fc2mS_xMv9C1YVl74H52txJ3_kTRaT0az6DSdkIxAtoF3YjtPBpXXTONQyzDjzobKQlIYvhg7ntjIfeo3anXf92ayjj/s1600-h/LogoBandana.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLkO5AjZB-DgYcp9JRWAmhyUfqV9Sre9Z7zhVf-DkSzSvSJlZP4Fc2mS_xMv9C1YVl74H52txJ3_kTRaT0az6DSdkIxAtoF3YjtPBpXXTONQyzDjzobKQlIYvhg7ntjIfeo3anXf92ayjj/s320/LogoBandana.png" /></a><br />
</div>College kids have given up on the ever popular sports of Frisbee Golf and Drinking Til You Pass Out With No Pants and are instead taking up the new game of <a href="http://humansvszombies.org/">Humans v. Zombies</a>. The teams are divided up (like Sharks and Fishes) and players take turns "fighting" one another in a tag-like setting using Nerf guns.<br />
<br />
Are you shitting me? Nerf guns.<br />
<br />
Why not just hit them with pillows and balloons? Perhaps you could just blow kisses at them?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF06Tjn6eEz6UqlECtTRY3YHrgtxdDK2_sHHh9rFLmmNTZ5z4blZekQQ2EUdK9K9c27myiuSGcy2r0JCdfPvh-5Jzrna85AfviGrYJERzd3N0bLsNpGiyQqh6VnTpEJbkdPVtB3C641oXn/s1600-h/IllRules.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF06Tjn6eEz6UqlECtTRY3YHrgtxdDK2_sHHh9rFLmmNTZ5z4blZekQQ2EUdK9K9c27myiuSGcy2r0JCdfPvh-5Jzrna85AfviGrYJERzd3N0bLsNpGiyQqh6VnTpEJbkdPVtB3C641oXn/s320/IllRules.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Government test labs the world over have been harvesting all sorts of zombie-creating diseases. Hell, even Lady Gaga wants to be a zombie ("I want your ugly, I want your disease.") But to make a game of this in some light hearted attempt at irony is just reinforcing the notion that college kids are idiots and the world is not taking this zombie epidemic seriously enough. <br />
<br />
"We must stop these college jerks from trivializing the threat of the undead." - <a href="http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/187342/october-07-2008/the-red-lending-menace">Stephen Colbert</a> (political commentator, human sympathizer). <br />
<br />
Sure! It's all fun and games until you find yourself face to face with a real zombie, and all you have to defend yourself is a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Nerf-Big-Bad-Titan/dp/B000G61XMM/ref=cm_lmf_tit_4">Nerf Big Bad Titan</a>, which fires foam darts at a speed of .002 mph. At that speed, you could walk over and kick them in the nuts faster. Long story short, you're a dead man. <br />
<br />
People. I implore you. Do NOT partake in this mindless game. It perpetuates false stereotypes about the severity of this deadly disease (Zombitis). Nerf guns will not save you, you silly-nancys. While the girls and I are out fighting off REAL zombies every. single. day. you jerktards are out skipping through wildflower fields throwing foam darts at one another. <br />
<br />
Thank you, Mr. Colbert, for giving this game your <a href="http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/187340/october-07-2008/threatdown---zombies">highest threat level warning</a>. At least someone is taking this seriously. <br />
As Stephen Colbert so perfectly put it: "Hey college kids, stop playing fake zombies and get back to what you are supposed to be doing. Playing fake lesbians and fake vegetarians."<br />
<br />
Don't say we didn't warn you.A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-62240626248994869612009-11-28T11:38:00.000-08:002009-11-28T11:43:55.852-08:00Know Your Place on the Menu - Miss FamineI am STUFFED. The girls and I had a flawless Thanksgiving this year. (Only two zombie attacks and only one smoke detector incident. Death is officially banned from the kitchen.) We were all a little anxious leading up to the big event -- would Thanksgiving still be the same in the Apocalypse? Would friends and family still gather and shovel food into their faces until they couldn't breath? Would that weird uncle still be super awkward? Would the turkey rise from the dead as Zombie turkey?!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM9ArLv_yfoq6plEKM-I3GjSIqNUIdIqitovh2r9O9RK5jYqW0DvhW5gXiD689yDYLbrMYBhyAV_-VsyrGU3drtwgaaOCU9G_1IKR8FmqQq6gXlpYW6IUD45EJ892pfbTFujFhMEpRAcCh/s1600/ZombieTurkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM9ArLv_yfoq6plEKM-I3GjSIqNUIdIqitovh2r9O9RK5jYqW0DvhW5gXiD689yDYLbrMYBhyAV_-VsyrGU3drtwgaaOCU9G_1IKR8FmqQq6gXlpYW6IUD45EJ892pfbTFujFhMEpRAcCh/s320/ZombieTurkey.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Yes! Yes! And sort of. (No worries. Zombie Turkeys are just as easy to cook and just as tasty as regular turkeys. Just bite them before they bite you.)<br />
<br />
I was so relieved that all of the the tradition is still firmly in tact, and we're now gearing up for a very merry Holiday season. The girls and I even went shopping early on Black Friday. It's so much less scary when you come prepared with your <a href="http://www.iforgeiron.com/gallery/showphoto.php/photo/13967/ppuser/send_message.php">pretty machetes</a> and <a href="http://www.buckleshop.com/images/f156e.jpg">pearl handled revolvers</a>. <a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3499/3714567886_ab52e21845.jpg">Competitive shoppers</a> just leap out of your way.<br />
<br />
But now that that's over, we're facing the scariest of all post-Thanksgiving traditions... LEFTOVERS. Leftovers have always been a little risky -- How long does this all last? The green beans are moving, should I stop eating? Is the stuffing ok if it's congealed, white, and fuzzy? How many pieces of pie is too many to eat in one sitting? (The answer is 7. Just trust me.)<br />
<br />
And ever since that apocalypse hit, we've had even more to worry about, like...when do WE become the leftovers?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz5BozdcoQTrWQpcFXiqE67fF6eER1KckaiVJDMeNIuehCpJebgbhWdzZHAcaGn4_Z4dUWde8Pa01uHOD3zpEzhyYxYWmK2odbf45UsiPS9aFUN3eyMq-eg7ucS7cbQvR1VyxunUc_f_n8/s1600/foodchain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz5BozdcoQTrWQpcFXiqE67fF6eER1KckaiVJDMeNIuehCpJebgbhWdzZHAcaGn4_Z4dUWde8Pa01uHOD3zpEzhyYxYWmK2odbf45UsiPS9aFUN3eyMq-eg7ucS7cbQvR1VyxunUc_f_n8/s320/foodchain.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><br />
Oh. That's when.<br />
<br />
Happy Zombgiving, Everyone!<br />
<br />
Miss FamineA Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291870869113150512.post-46678246983323115192009-11-24T12:49:00.000-08:002009-11-24T12:49:17.660-08:00Finally! A Narrative on Why Everything Goes to Shit During a Zombie Apocalypse - Miss Conquest<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjHglhbBHLDR99vg6LbjDrer1FCWWp8qczqc_QKUAL-Z4pMpBxgYQh_mrNiIVD0-LFCvz4NHYIkk8PyGBzCkNAFwrHn6juogKJ6jgo1unnNuakrWcNjvbXv5n8YlI9BRIaUdbaixFeTFM9/s1600/Caution!.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjHglhbBHLDR99vg6LbjDrer1FCWWp8qczqc_QKUAL-Z4pMpBxgYQh_mrNiIVD0-LFCvz4NHYIkk8PyGBzCkNAFwrHn6juogKJ6jgo1unnNuakrWcNjvbXv5n8YlI9BRIaUdbaixFeTFM9/s320/Caution!.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>I've been saying it for years, folks. This is no one's fault but your own.<i><b> I</b></i> didn't start the zombie apocalypse. I merely encouraged what had already been set into motion. And, as friend and neighbor to many zombies, I really can't help but sympathize with them. <br />
<br />
Finally. Someone printed the totally accurate narrative of how the Zombie Apoc came to be. The next time you feel frisky, why not hold off on getting cocky with the disease hybrid meatloaf. See below for further explanation.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://yogibrewer.mlblogs.com/HappLand%21-thumb-346x400.jpg">Not here.</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://theoatmeal.com/comics/zombie_how">Here.</a>A Modern Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypsehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499699455457532163noreply@blogger.com0