Sookie Stackhouse, the Ultimate Monster Dater - Miss Conquest

If ANYBODY knows how to deal with dating creatures of the night, it's Sookie Stackhouse, the star of Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mystery Series, the basis of the HBO series True Blood. 

Sookie has a slew of monstrous hotties who love her passionately, and it's only getting her in more and more trouble as the series goes along into it's ninth book, "Dead and Gone."

I won't say anything here to spoil things for True Blood watchers, so all I can really tell you about the plot of "Dead and Gone" is that the supernatural world is rolling to a high boil and Sookie is, of course, right in the middle of it. While the series is still technically a "mystery" serial, it's really becoming more of a high stakes supernatural drama, chock full of danger, intrigue, passion, comedy, tragedy and a healthy dose of steamy romance.

Sookie is up to four suiters now, with a list of willing understudies that should impress even the most skilled dater. Don't let the darling Sookie make you feel bad about your own dating life.  We all know it's not that easy to attract a waiting list of hot guys ready to kill and die for you.  Miss Harris explains, in her eighth book, "From Dead to Worse," why Sookie is such catnip for every studly monster in a hundred mile radius.  That doesn't make Sookie's dating life simpler though, with representatives of just about every species that goes bump in the night vying for her attention.

Despite her supernatural dating talents (which you'll have to read the series to learn more about, I'm not gonna give it away) I think we should all look to Miss Stackhouse as a role model.  She's got guts and self respect and she never prejudges a man by his past (even if it's as a blood thirsty monster).  I mean, come on, who can resist this guy:

 Or this one, for that matter:

I might not have had QUITE as much luck with my own foray's into dating the undead, but Sookie gives me hope that being open minded really will get you everywhere.  You might decide that dating the underworld doesn't seem like a good idea (and you're probably right).  But, regardless of whether you agree with me that handsome but deadly sounds like just the kind of guy you want to see on a Saturday night, you won't be able to help but be entertained by Sookie's exploits. 

Now, if you're a fan of the True Blood series, you'll want to start the Southern Vampire Mystery Series from the very beginning.  Frankly, even if you're not a fan of the TV series, you might want to start fresh - things have gotten pretty complicated in Sookie's world.  But, these are must reads for anyone who likes a little murder and mayhem and a lot of supernatural awesomeness (plus hot guys and steamy goodness).

Miss Death: Life's a Beach

Happy Saturday all of you beautiful, beautiful people!

I know what you’re all thinking – “Miss Death is in an uncommonly good mood today. Did she eat a cookie? Invite Mr. Grim Reaper back to the coffin last night (insert “boning” joke here)? SOMETHING is going on, and I sure hope there isn’t an earthquake scheduled in China anytime soon!”

Relax, friends, it’s none of those things. (Although I DID run into Grimmy on Sunset last night, but as if I’d EVER invite him back after what his scythe did to the lining of my lovely coffin last time. Never again, Grimmy. Never. Again.)

No, readers, I’m in this uncommonly chipper mood today because it’s AUGUST 1st! The official kick off to Vacation Month! I can already feel it – the UV rays bleaching my bones, giving me that “just dead” glow. The boys whistling at my skin-and-bones bikini body that I work SO hard to get (take THAT, Grimmy!) It’s just simply the BEST. MONTH. EVER.

Now, I’m aware that some things have changed since the Apocalypse hit. (Especially for you, Coloradans. How you liking than beach front property? Pretty nice, eh?) And this is what I want to talk to you all about today. Even before the Big A was upon us, we were already keen on “beach safety.” We were aware of the skin cancer dangers, the early-aging damage, the men in inappropriately tiny banana hammocks! But now things are so much WORSE so we have to be TWICE as careful.

You might have heard that the zombies have set up shop along the shoreline. Something about the mists of the crashing waves keeping their skin moist and…on their faces. So be sure that when you’re packing up that beach tote you throw in a light, but sharp machete. My fave is the Double Edge -- for obvious reasons. Zombie brain stems won't stand a chance!

For most of the day your normal SPFs (130-290) will work. And don’t forget the super stylish sunglasses, perfect for protecting your corneas AND secretly scoping out the talent. But for that Noon hour, when the solar flares erupt as they’re wont to do these days, you’ll need something a little stronger.

And as for those sharks with legs all crawling out of the ocean and stuff... I'm all for the beach sandals, but when you see one of THOSE suckers coming at you, you're going to want to have footwear that's a LITTLE more reliable.

Say you want to extend your beach excursion into the night. During the day (except for Noon of course) you’re good to go in your sexy suit and darling cover-up. But remember, beach towns are overrun by Vamps come nightfall, so you’re going to want that perfect scarf to obscure your beating vein lines. Why tempt fate?

That’s all for now folks. Enjoy your fun in the sun and as always, be safe! The sky IS falling out there, after all.

Ta ta and to die for,
Miss Death