The Rename the iTampon Game - Miss Conquest

Let's face it.  We've stopped counting Apple Announcements as signs of the apocalypse.  They happen every few months and the world never ends as a result, no matter how much we want it to. (Remember when we all thought The Beatles were coming to iTunes? Dirty dirty lies!)

So this week, you may have been hiding in your bomb shelter and missed the "revolutionary" announcement of the new Apple Tablet.  Oh wait.  I'm sorry.  That's NOT the well thought out, aptly descriptive name.

It's the iPad.

Now. I won't spend this entire post making feminine product jokes.  I will instead let this now-ubiquitous 2005 Mad TV sketch do the talking for me.

But I think we're all in agreement that the spanking new iPad is in a little bit of a marketing (if not product development) fail zone right now.  So I would like to propose a few alternative names for this sparkly new toy:

iCantmultitask.  Disappointment in a box.

iKilljournalists.  What be this "newspaper" thingy you speak of?

iSavenot.  The Moleskine Journal company rejoices!  Pens and Paper everywhere do a happy dance!

iSlate.  No joke.  This is really just what it should have been called.

iTab.  Or this.  (See how easy this is?)

iWin! Until the Kindle can go online, at least.

iMaxi.  Get it? Get it? Sounds like iMac...

iHeavyFlow.  Because I'm a liar and have the maturity of an 11-year-old boy.

So what do YOU think it should have been named?  I'm sure between the six of us we can come up with something far more catchy.  And then we'll petition Apple to change it... and take over the world...

Muahahahahahahahahhaa