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BREAKING
The end is so freakishly near you can taste it!
Mmm. Tastes like chicken.
"New Moon Sets All-time Midnight Record"
It beat Harry Potter.
It beat Dark Knight.
Batman, bested by a bare chested 12-year-old. I guess the chicks just don't dig Teflon as much as they used to.
It made $26.27 MILLION DOLLARS.
And that's just the kick-off. Reports are that the sequel may break the all-time opening day records, while simultaneously attracting earthquakes, birds, snakes, and aeroplanes, effectively ending the world as we know it.
Didja see THIS coming, Michael Stipe. Didja? Didja?!
What is this business with Twilight vamps not having fangs? I don't buy it. They just took the biggest bite out of our collective Hello Kitty pocket book ever (during witching hours, at least). Oh well, I guess it's true what they say about whiskey and vampires... totally Recession-proof.
"Honey. Hey. Wake up. Did you drink all my moonshine?"
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