Poon Real Estate - A New Approach to Dating - Miss Conquest

I do apologize in advance for the amount of times I'm about the type the word "poon." If you prefer another word for my favorite part of the female anatomy, by all means, feel free to export this, find, and replace with another word. Might I suggest "hoo-hoo, box, La-La, vag," or for those of you who have a proper name for yours, feel free to add that in. Mine is named "Reginald."

Let's briefly discuss a different approach to dating. I get emails from girlfriends all the time asking "why don't these apocalyptic boys stay with me, want to date me, dump me, deny me, etc. I mean, we ARE the last girls on Earth!"

The answer is: These girls just don't understand the value of their poon real estate.

It's all about being selective in the poon real estate market.

Steps to establishing your poon real estate market value:
1. Am I a beautiful, independent, intelligent woman of remarkable being who survived the apocalypse? (answer: yes)
Than we can safely establish that your poon real estate market value is $1,000,000.
2. Repeat poon real estate market value to yourself 20-30 times per day. This is your mantra.
"My poon is worth $1,000,000. My poon is worth $1,000,000."

Now, for every zombie/vampire/werewolf/soldier of fortune that comes your way looking for a date, you run a credit check on him.

Determine his value in terms of personality, loyalty, devotion, charm, wit, love, looks, and anything else you desire in a perfect man-being.

Does his credit check put him into the $1,000,000 category?

Yes? Proceed with dating.

No? You can ignore those phone calls. He'll get the hint.

Maybe? "Well, he rated a $999,999." NO! He did not score a perfect $1,000,000. He's out.

Believe in the value of yourself and your poon and let this be the way you date. Don't ever take the approach that you are "just lucky to have a date, any date!"

Own the poon ladies. Believe in its increasing value. Realize that YOU determine the going rate of your poon and do NOT settle for anyone who falls short of it's value.

And be aware, ladies of the apocalypse, that the poon real estate bubble will never burst. I don't care if they ARE the last males on Earth. We can still afford to be selective!